WOMEN ALL TELL ME, THE
(Traditional - 18th Century)



The Women all tell me I am false to my lass
That I quit my poor Chloe and stick to my glass
But to you, men of reason, my reasons I'll own
And if you don't like them, why, let them alone

Although I have left her, the truth I'll declare
I believe she was good, and I'm sure she was fair
but goodness and charms in a bumper I see
That make it as good and as charming as she

My Chloe had dimples and smiles, I must own
But though she could smile, yet in truth she could frown
But tell me, ye lovers of liquor divine
Did you e'er see a frown in a bumper of wine?

Her lilies and roses were just in their prime
Yet lilies and roses are conquered by time
But in wine, from its age, such benefit flows
That we like it the better the older it grows

They tell me my love would in time have been cloyed
And that beauty's insipid when once 'tis enjoyed
But in wine I both time and enjoyment defy
For the longer I drink the more thirsty I am

Let murders, and battles, and history prove
The mischiefs that wait upon rivals in love
But in drinking, thank heaven, no rival contends
For the more we love liquor, the more we are friends

She, too, might have poisoned the joy of my life,
With nurses, and babies, and squalling, and strife
But my wine neither nurses nor babies can bring
And a big-bellied bottle's a mighty good thing

We shorten our days when with love we engage
It brings on diseases and hastens old age
But wine from grim death can its votaries save
And keep out t'other leg, when there's one in the grave

Perhaps, like her sex, ever false to their word
She has left me, to get an estate or a lord
But my bumper, regarding nor title nor pelf
Will stand by me when I can't stand by myself

Then let my dear Chloe no longer complain
She's rid of her lover, and I of my pain
For in wine, mighty wine, many comforts I spy
Should you doubt what I say, take a bumper and try




(Contributed by Mel Priddle - January 2017)