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WOMEN DRIVERS (Weldon Rogers) Weldon Rogers & Wanda Wolfe - 1956 Now, if you're a fellah with a lot of luck Don't ever trust that gift too fer You never know when fate's gonna have his day You never know around which bend Fate's gonna raise his ugly head Then like a flash, your luck's done gone and went I been a-sittin' here in my easy chair Just thinkin' about the past Thinkin' about how lucky I've always been Where others didn't last For in this world of discontent There's a danger we must reveal It's twice as bad as an A-bomb blast It's a woman with an automobile Sometimes I sit and wonder why Dadgum womans got to drive When they know this shaky world can't stand the strain My Wife, she drives, but goes alone I keep the kids and stay at home And to punish them, I use the razor strap Never trust a woman driver You'll be crazy if you do Never trust a woman driver They'll kill or scare the daylights out of you Like the other morning, I started to work Just as happy as I could be When a nice ?????? passed on my right And, man, you talk about speed I saw the driver was a woman Kinda gritted my teeth and swore As she crossed over the centre line Sideswiped a brand new Ford I caught a glimpse of the victim And his face was broad with a smile Why, he wasn't mad at anyone Just happy to be alive So, I kinda gassed my Cadillac To keep her car in sight She signalled for a left-hand turn But whipped it to the right A real old man knelt down to pray A young girl screamed with fright The paper boy with coal black hair It turned a snowy white About that time a whistle blew And a cop came on the run She stopped dead still in the middle of the street And said, "What've I done?" So, in this land of daffodils Where neon shines so bright To save your hide, take my advice Don't let that woman drive And when life's race is over And you head for the pearly gates Take my advice, men you drive Or take the Super Jeep Never trust a woman driver You'll be crazy if you do Never trust a woman driver She'll speed your trip to Heaven if you do (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - February 2017)

    


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