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THE JOLLIEST FAT MAN (Laverne & Shirley - 1976) Michael McKean (Lenny) David L. Lander (Squiggy) Squiggy: It was Christmas Eve night at the poorhouse, And all of the paupers were there, I stepped in because it was snowing, And snow always screws up my hair. Lenny: By the pot-bellied stove sat a pot-bellied man, He spoke with some lumps in his throat, His story was sad & his diction was bad, And here is the song that he wrote, Squiggy: I once was the jolliest fatman, With roses in all of my cheeks, I'd load up my sled every Christmas, And go on a drunk for two weeks. Lenny: My friends said they saw me on rooftops, And sliding down chimmneys at dawn, With my reindeer in hand I would glide cross the land, And wake up on somebodies lawn. Squiggy: One morning my wife left this message, Each Christmas I've spent by myself, I'm sick o' your stupid tradition, So I've run off to Spain with a elf. Lenny: Just then the old man started dying, His screams made a law take my soul, We went through his wallet to see who he was, His address read simply... Squiggy: 'North Pole'. Both: So the next time you go by the poorhouse, If by the poorhouse you go, Just take off your hat to a dead guy whose fat, Squiggy: And whisper a silent... Both: 'Ho, Ho'. (Contributed by Mark Windridge - November 2007)

    


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