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TWELVE PAINS OF CHRISTMAS Bob Rivers Comedy Group Chorus : The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Is finding a Christmas tree. . The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Husband (2): Rigging up the lights, C: And finding a Christmas tree. . The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Inebreated man (3): Hangovers, 2: Rigging up the lights, C: And finding a Christmas tree. . The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Frustrated man (4): Sending Christmas cards, 3: Hangovers, 2: Rigging up the lights, C: And finding a Christmas tree. . The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Five months of bills, 4: Sending Christmas cards, 3: Hangovers, 2: Rigging up the lights, C: And finding a Christmas tree. . The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Frustrated wife (6): Facing my in-laws, C: Five months of bills, 4: Oh, I hate those Christmas cards, 3: Hangovers, 2: Rigging up these lights, C: And finding a Christmas tree. The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Angry man (7): The Salvation Army, 6: Facing my in-laws, C: Five months of bills, 4: Sending Christmas cards, 3: Oh, Jeez! 2: I'm trying to rig up these lights! C: And finding a Christmas tree. . The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Loud kid (8): I WANNA FURBY FOR CHRISTMAS! 7: Charities And what do you mean, "your in-laws"?!? C: Five months of bills, 4: Oh, making out these cards, 3: Edith, get me a beer, huh? 2: What we have no extension cords?!? C: And finding a Christmas tree. . The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Another frustrated man (9): No parking spaces, 8: DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!! 7: Donations! 6: Facing my in-laws, C: Five months of bills, 4: Writing out those Christmas cards, 3: Hangovers, 2: Now why the hell are they blinking?!? C: And finding a Christmas tree. . The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: other (10): "Batteries not included", 9: No parking spaces, 8: BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!! 7: Get a job, ya bum!!! 6: (sobbing) Oh, facing my in-laws, C: Five months of bills, 4: Yo, ho! Sending Christmas cards, 3: Oh, Jeez, look at this! 2: One light goes out, they ALL go out!!! C: And finding a Christmas tree. . The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: TV Critic (11): Stale TV specials, 10: "Batteries not included", 9: No parking spaces, 8: I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!! 7: Charities!! 6: (sobbing) She's a witch! I hate her! C: Five months of bills, 4: Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people! 3: Oh, who's got the toilet paper? 2: Get a flashlight!! I blew a fuse!!! C: And finding a Christmas tree. . The twelth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: A few guys: Singing Christmas Carols, 11: Stale TV specials, 10: "Batteries not included", 9: No parking? 8: WAAAAAAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! 7: Charities! 6: Gotta make 'em dinner! C: Five months of bills, 4: I'm not sending them this year, that's it! 3: Shut up, you! 2: FINE!! If you're so smart, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!!! C: And finding a Christmas tree.

    


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