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YA GOT TROUBLE From the show "The Music Man" (1957) (Meredith Wilson) Robert Preston - 1957 Harold: Well, ya got trouble, my friend. Right here, I say trouble right here in River City. Why, sure, I'm a billiard player. Certainly mighty proud to say. I'm always mighty proud to say it. I consider the hours I spend with a cue in my hand are golden. Help you cultivate horse sense and a cool head and a keen eye. 'Jever take and try to give an iron clad leave to yourself from a three-rail billiard shot? But just as I say it takes judgement, brains and maturity to score in a balk-line game, I say that any boob can take and shove a ball in a pocket And I call that sloth, the first big step on the road to the depths of degreda- I say, first- medicinal wine from a teaspoon, then beer from a bottle And the next thing you know your son is playin'for money in a pinchback suit And listenin' to some big out-o'-town jasper hear him tell about horserace gamblin' Not a wholesome trottin' race, no, but a race where they set down right on the horse Like to see some stuck up jockey boy sittin' on Dan Patch? Make your blood boil, well I should say Now, folks, let me show you what I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets in a table Pockets that mark the difference between a gentleman and a bum. With a capital 'B' and that rhymes with 'P' and that stands for 'pool' And all week long, your River City youth'll be fritterin' away, I say, your young men'll be fritterin'F Fritterin' away their noontime, suppertime, choretime, too. Hit the ball in the pocket Never mind gettin' dandelions pulled or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded Never mind pumpin' any water 'til your parents are caught with a cistern empty on a Saturday night and that's trouble Oh, ya got lots and lots o' trouble I'm thinkin' of the kids in the knickerbockers shirttails, young ones peekin' in the pool hall window after school Ya got trouble, folks, right here in River City with a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'P' and that stands for 'pool' Now I know all you folks are the right kind of parents. I'm gonna be perfectly frank Would you like to know what kind of conversation goes on while they're loafin' around that hall They'll be tryin' out Bevo, tryin' out Cubebs, tryin' out tailor-mades like cigarette fiends And braggin' all about how they're gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen Now one fine night they leave the pool hall headin' for the dance at the Armory Libertine men and scarlet women and ragtime. Shameless music that'll grab your son, your daughter into the arms of a jungle animal instinct-massteria! Friends, the idle brain is the devil's playground, trouble! Townspeople: Oh, we got trouble Harold: Right here in River City Townspeople: Right here in River City Harold: With a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'P' and that stands for 'pool' Townspeople: That stands for pool Harold: We surely got trouble Townspeople: We surely got trouble Harold: Right here in River City Townspeople: Right here Harold: Gotta figure out a way to keep the young ones moral after school Townspeople: 'trouble' Harold: Mothers of River City, heed this warning before it's too late Watch for the tell-tale signs of corruption The minute your son leaves the house does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee? Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger? A dime novel hidden in the corncrib? Is he starting to memorize jokes from Cap'n Billy's Whizbang? Are certain words creeping into his conversation? Words like... swell? And... 'so's your old man'? Well if so, my friends... Ya got trouble Townspeople: Oh, we got trouble Harold: Right here in River City Townspeople: Right here in River City Harold: With a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'P' and that stands for 'pool' Townspeople: That stands for pool Harold: We've surely got trouble Townspeople: We surely got trouble Harold: Right here in River City Townspeople: Right here Harold: Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule? Oho, we got trouble We're in terrible, terrible trouble That game with the fifteen numbered balls is the devil's tool Townspeople: Devil's tool Harold: Yes, we've got trouble, trouble, trouble Townspeople: Oh, yes, we got trouble here, we got big, big trouble Harold: With a 'T' Townspeople: With a capital 'T' Harold: And that rhymes with 'P' Townspeople: That rhymes with 'P' Harold: And that stands for pool Townspeople: That stands for pool Harold: Remember my friends, listen to me, because I pass this way but once

    


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