AHAB, THE ARAB
(Written by Ray Stevens)
Ray Stevens - 1962
(intro: Arabian flute)
Let me tell you about Ahab, The Arab
The sheik of the burning sands!
He had emeralds and rubies just a-drippin' off 'a him,
And a ring on every finger of his hand!
He wore a big ol' turban wrapped around his head,
And a scimitar by his side,
And every evenin', about midnight,
He'd jump on his camel named Clyde...
And ride, silently through the night to the sultan's tent,
Where he would secretly meet up with Fatima of The Seven Veils,
The swingingest number one choice dancer
In The Sultan's whole harem!
'Cause, like him and her had a thing goin', you know,
And they'd been carryin' on for some time now behind The Sultan's back!
And you could hear him talk to his camel
As he rode out across the dunes
His voice would cut through the still night desert air,
And he'd say... (imitate Arabic speech)
Which is Arabic for, "Whoa, babies!"
And Clyde'd say... (imitate camel braying)
Well, he brought his camel to a screechin' halt (imitate screech)
In the rear of Fatima's tent,
Jumped off Clyde, snuck around the corner,
And into the tent he went.
There he saw Fatima layin' on a zebra skin rug,
With rings on her fingers,
And bells on her toes and a bone in her nose, ho ho!
There she was, friends and neighbors, layin' there in all her radiant beauty,
Eating on a raisin, and a grape, and an apricot, and a pomegranate,
A bowl of chitterlings, two bananas, three Hershey bars,
And sipping on an R-O-C-coke-cola, listenin' to her transistor,
Watchin' The Grand Ole Opry,
And readin' Mad Magazine while she sung "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavor?"!
And Ahab walked up to her and he say (imitate Arabic speech)
Which is Arabic for, "Let's twist again like we did last summer, baby!"
And she say, "ha ha ha...crazy, baby!"
('Round and around and around and around
And around and around and around!)
All of a sudden, The Sultan walked in!!
Ahab knew that this was the end!!
Him and Fatima was caught by surprise,
And the sultan had fire flashin' out of his eyes!!
Well, The Sultan charged at Ahab,
Intending to make a dent
In his head, but he fled with Fatima
And out of the tent they went!
They jumped on Clyde and started to ride
Cuttin' out across the sand!
With The Sultan's whole army in a hot pursuit,
On and on they ran!
Well, to make a long story short,
They got away, 'cause there weren't no animal alive
What could keep up with Clyde once he got started,
'Cause he was the swiftest steed on the whole desert babies!
And they made it across the border
Where he half-hocked all his rubies and emeralds,
And he bought 'em a swanky little split-level pad,
And lived happi'y ever after!
Yeah, and that's the story 'bout Ahab, The Arab,
The sheik of the burnin' sands!
Ahab The Arab, the swingin' sheik of the burnin' sands!
(Contributed by Aaron Handy III - January 2004)