AUCTIONEER
aka THE AUCTIONEER
aka THE AUCTIONEER SONG
Words and music by LeRoy Van Dyke and Buddy Black
AUCTIONEER
as recorded by LeRoy Van Dyke
1956
There was a boy in Arkansas who wouldn't listen to his ma
When she told him that he should go to school
He'd sneak away in the afternoon,
take a little walk and pretty soon
You'd find him at the local auction barn
Well he'd stand and listen carefully
then pretty soon he began to see
How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly
He said, "Oh my it's do or die
I've got to learn that auction cry
Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer"
25 dollar 30 now 30 dollar 30 dollar
30 dollar 30 dollar give me a hollar 30 dollar
who will bid it at a 35 dollar bid?
35 dollar 35 35 make it 35 and a 35 make it 35 and a 35
Who will bid it at a 35 dollar bid?
As time went on he did his best
and all could see he didn't jest
He practied on and then some night and day
His pappy'd find him behind the barn
just a workin up an awful storm
As he tried to imitate the auctioneer
Said his pappy, "Son we just can't stand
a havin' a mediocre man,
You gotta take that auction usin' our good name.
I'll send you off to auction school
and then you'll be nobody's fool
You can take your place among the best"
35 dollar 40 now 40 dollar 40 dollar
40 dollar 40 dollar give me a hollar 40 dollar
Who will bid it at at a 40 dollar bid?
40 dollar 45 45 will you make it 45 give me 45 and a 45
Who will bid it at a 45 dollar bid?
So from that morning he went to school
there grew a man who played it cool
He came back home a full fledged auctioneer
And people came from miles around
just to hear him make that rhythmic sound
That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer
His fame reached out from shore to shore
he had all he could do and more
He had to buy a plane to get around
Now he's the tops in all the land so let's all give that man a hand
He's the best of all the auctioneers
45 dollar 50 now 50 dollar 50 dollar
50 dollar 50 dollar give me a hollar 50 dollar
Who will bid it at a 50 dollar bill?
50 dollar 55 55 make it 55 and a 55 make it 55 and
Sold that horse for a 50 dollar bill
******************
THE AUCTIONEER
as recorded by Gordon Lightfoot
1980
Hey well all right sir, open the gate and let 'em out and walk 'em boys.
Here we come and let in number twenty-nine, what are you gonna give for the little fella?
I want a five dollar want a bid, would you bid it on a five on a five on a five
Will you bid it on a twenty-five
Got a twenty-five dollar would you bid it on five on the five
Will you bid it on a thirty dollar five on five
Will you bid it on a five, will you bid it on a thirty-five.
Well there was this boy from Arkansas who wouldn't listen to his ma
When she told him that he should go to school.
Well he'd sneak away in the afternoon, take a little walk and pretty soon
You'd find him at the local auction barn.
Well he'd stand and listen carefully until at last he began to see
How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly.
Well he said "Oh my, it's do or die, I've got to learn that auction cry
Gonna make my mark and be an auctioneer"
Twenty-five dollar bid you now thirty dollar thirty
Will you make it thirty, bid it on a thirty dollar thirty dollar
Will you give me thirty, will you give me thirty dollar bill
I got a thirty dollar bid you now
Five will you beat it on a thirty-five, bid it on thirty-five, thirty-five
Who's gonna bid it at a thirty-five dollar bill.
(bridge)
Well the time went by and he did his best and all could see he did not jest
He practiced calling bids both night and day.
'Til his pappy found him behind the barn just workin' up an awful storm
As he tried to imitate the auctioneer.
And his pop said "Son we just can't stand to have a mediocre man
Sellin' things at auction using our good name.
Well I'm gonna send you off to auction school and then you'll be nobody's fool
And you can take your place among the best".
Thirty-five dollar bid you now forty dollar forty
Will you make it forty, bid it on a forty dollar forty dollar
Will you give me forty, will you give me forty dollar bill
I got a forty dollar bid you now
Five will you beat it on a forty-five, bid it on forty-five, forty-five
Who's gonna bid it at a forty-five dollar bill.
(bridge)
And from that boy that went to school there grew a man who played it cool
He come back home a full fledged auctioneer.
And the people would come from miles around
Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound
That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer.
And his fame spread out from shore to shore
He'd all that he could do and more.
He had to buy a plane to get around.
Well now he's the best in all the land, let's pause and give that man a hand
'Cause he's the best of all the auctioneers.
Forty-five dollar bid you now fifty dollar fifty
Will you make it fifty, bid it on a fifty dollar fifty dollar
Will you give me fifty, will you give me fifty dollar bill
I got a fifty dollar bid you now
Five will you beat it on a fifty-five, bid it on fifty-five, fifty-five
Who's gonna bid it at a fifty-five dollar bill.
(bridge)
Well I sold that hog for a fifty dollar bill.
(Contributed by David Story- February 2013)
