BANGERS AND MASH
(David Lee / Herbert Kretzmer)

Peter Sellers & Sophia Loren - 1960




PETER:
I met 'er down in Napoli and didn't she look great
And so I brought 'er back to Blighty just to show me mates
And though we're married 'appily, I'll tell ya furthermore
I 'aven't 'ad a decent meal since Nineteen-Forty-Four

SL: Eat your minestrone, Joe
PS: That's all you ever say
SL: Eat your macaroni, Joe
PS: Ev'ry blinkin' day
SL: No wonder you're so boney, Joe, and skinny as a rake
PS: Well then, give us a bash at the bangers and mash me Muvver used to make

PS: Bangers and mash
SL: Minestrone
PS: Bangers and mash
SL: Macaroni
PS: Give us a bash at the bangers and mash me Muvver used to make

SL: Eat your tagliatelli, Joe
PS: That's all I've 'eard for years
SL: Eat your vermicelli, Joe
PS: It's comin' out me ears
SL: You've got to fill your belly, Joe; Joe, for heaven's sake
PS: Well then, give us a bash at the bangers and mash me Muvver used to make
SL: Well alright!

PS: Bangers and mash
SL: Tagliatelli
PS: Bangers and mash
SL: Vermicelli
PS: Ah, give us a bash at the bangers and mash me Muvver used to make

SPOKEN (All voices by Sellers):
AMERICAN REPORTER: Nineteen-Forty-Three, Allied Forces land in Italy. 
1st SOLDIER: There's a smashin'-lookin' bird over there, Bert. I think she's showin' out there.
2nd SOLDIER: Well, why don't you chat 'er up then?
1st SOLDIER: Right! Bongourno Signorina now. 'Ere, are you married?
ITALIAN GIRL: (Unintellible reply)
1st SOLDIER: There y'are. Can't 'ave a fairer answer than that, can ya!

SOPHIA:
I met him back in Italy, so dashing and good-looking
He wined me and he dined me ev'ry night
He said I smiled so prettily and how he loved my cooking
But since he's married me, it seems he's lost his appetite

PS (Italian Accent): Eat your tagliatelli, Joe
SL (Cockney Accent): That's all you ever say, Ooohhhhh
PS: Eat your vermicelli, Joe
SL: Ev'ry bloomin' day
PS: You've a-got to fill your belly, Joe; Joe, for heaven's sake
SL: Well then, give us a bash at the bangers and mash your Muvver used to make 

PS: Bangers and mash
SL: Minestrone
PS: Bangers and mash
SL: Macaroni
PS: Give me a bash with the bangers and mash 
SL: (Laughing)
PS: Like the same one what your Mother was
SL: (Laughing)
PS: What you laughing at now
SL: (Laughing)
PS: (Indistinct).....Please!


(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - December 2009)