CELL BLOCK TANGO
From the Broadway Musical "Chicago" (1975)
(Fred Ebb / John Kander)

Chita Rivera & Girls* (Broadway Production) - 1975
Bebe Neuwirth & Girls** (Broadway Revival) - 1996
Ute Lemper & Girls (London Production) - 1998
Catherine Zeta Jones & Girls*** (Film Soundtrack) - 2002
Queen Latifah, Lil' Kim & Macy Gray - 2002



LIZ: Pop
ANNIE: Six
JUNE: Squish
HUNYAK: Uh uh
VELMA: Cicero
MONA: Lipschitz!

LIZ: Pop
ANNIE: Six
JUNE: Squish
HUNYAK: Uh uh
VELMA: Cicero
MONA: Lipschitz!

ANNOUNCER: And now the six merry murderesses of the Crookem
County Jail in their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango"

LIZ: Pop
ANNIE: Six
JUNE: Squish
HUNYAK: Uh uh
VELMA: Cicero
MONA: Lipschitz!

LIZ: Pop
ANNIE: Six
JUNE: Squish
HUNYAK: Uh uh
VELMA: Cicero
MONA: Lipschitz!

LIZ: Pop
ANNIE: Six
JUNE: Squish
HUNYAK: Uh uh
VELMA: Cicero
MONA: Lipschitz!

LIZ: Pop
ANNIE: Six
JUNE: Squish
HUNYAK: Uh uh
VELMA: Cicero
MONA: Lipschitz!

ALL:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it

VELMA: I betcha you would have done the same!

LIZ: Pop
ANNIE: Six
JUNE: Squish
HUNYAK: Uh uh
VELMA: Cicero
MONA: Lipschitz!

LIZ: Pop
ANNIE: Six
JUNE: Squish
HUNYAK: Uh uh
VELMA: Cicero
MONA: Lipschitz!

LIZ (Spoken):
You know how people have these little habits
That get you down
Like Bernie
Bernie liked to chew gum
No, not chew....POP!
So I came home this one day
And I am really irritated
And looking for a little sympathy
And there's Bernie layin' on the couch
Drinkin' a beer and chewin'
No, not chewin'....Poppin'
So, I said to him
I said, "You pop that gum one more time..."
And he did.
So I took the shotgun off the wall
And I fired two warning shots......into his head!

ALL:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have dome the same

ANNIE (Spoken):
I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake city
About two years ago
And he told me he was single
And we hit it off right away
So, we started living together
He'd go to work, he'd come home
I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner
And then I found out
"Single" he told me?
Single, my ass!
Not only was he married
Oh, no, he had six wives!
One of those Mormons, you know
So that night, when he came home
I fixed him his drink as usual
You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic!

ALL:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!

JUNE (Spoken):
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
Carvin' up the chicken for dinner
Minding my own business
And in storms my husband Wilbur
In a jealous rage
"You been screwin' the milkman!" he says
He was crazy and he kept screamin',
"You been screwin the milkman!"
And then he ran into my knife
He ran into my knife ten times!

ALL:
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same

HUNYAK (Spoken):
Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok
Hogy a hires lakem lefogta
A ferjemet en meg lecsaptam a fejet
De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok
Nem tudom mert mondja
Uncle Sam hogy en tettem
Probaltam a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg

JUNE (Spoken): Yeah, but did you do it?

HUNYAK (Spoken): Uh uh! Not guilty!

VELMA (Spoken):
My sister, Veronica and I did this double act
And my husband, Charlie, used to travel round with us
Now, for the last number in our act
we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row
One,two,three,four,five.....splits, spread-eagles
Back flips, flip flops, one right after the other
So this one night before the show
We're down at the hotel Cicero, the three of us, boozin'
Havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice
So I go out to get some
I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie
Doing Number Seventeen, the spread-eagle
Well, I was in such a state of shock
I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing
It wasn't until later when I was washing the blood off my hands
I even knew they were dead.

VELMA: They had it coming
GIRLS: They had it coming
VELMA: They had it coming
GIRLS: They had it coming
VELMA: They had it coming all along
GIRLS: They had it coming all along
VELMA: I didn't do it
GIRLS: She didn't do it
VELMA: But if I done it
GIRLS: But if she done it
VELMA: How could you tell me that I was wrong?

VELMA: They had it coming
GIRLS: They had it coming
VELMA: They had it coming
GIRLS: They had it coming
VELMA: They had it coming
GIRLS: They took a flower
VELMA: All along
GIRLS: In its prime
VELMA: I didn't do it
GIRLS: And then they used it
VELMA:
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

MONA (Spoken):
I loved Al Lipschitz more than I can possibly say
He was a real artistic guy...sensitive...a painter
But he was always trying to find himself
He'd go out every night looking for himself
And on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences
He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead!

ALL:
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

GIRLS (Group 1): They had it comin'
GIRLS (Group 2): They had it comin'
GIRLS (1): They had it comin'
GIRLS (2): They had it comin'
GIRLS (1): They had it comin'
GIRLS (2): They had it comin'
GIRLS (1): All along
GIRLS (2): All along
GIRLS (1): 'Cause if they used us
GIRLS (2): 'Cause if they used us
GIRLS (1): And they abused us
GIRLS (2): And they abused us
ALL: How could you tell us that we were wrong?

GIRLS (1): He had it coming
GIRLS (2): He had it coming
GIRLS (1): He only had himself to blame
GIRLS (2): He only had himself to blame
GIRLS (1): If you'd have been there
GIRLS (2): If you'd have been there
GIRLS (1): If you'd have seen it
GIRLS (2): If you'd have seen it
ALL: I betcha you would have done the same!

LIZ (Spoken): You pop that gum one more time!
ANNIE (Spoken): Single my ass!
JUNE (Spoken): Ten times!
HUNYAK (Spoken): Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe!
VELMA (Spoken): Number seventeen, the spread-eagle!
MONA (Spoken): Artistic differences!

LIZ: Pop
ANNIE: Six
JUNE: Squish
HUNYAK: Uh uh
VELMA: Cicero
MONA: Lipschitz!



* Chita Rivera, Cheryl Clark, Michon Peacock, Graciela Daniele,
Candy Brown, Pamela Sousa

** Bebe Neuwirth, Caitlin Carter, Mary Ann Lamb, Mamie Duncan-Gibbs,
Tina Paul, Denise Fay

*** Catherine Zeta-Jones, Susan Misner, Denise Faye, Deidre Goodwin,
Ekaterina Chtchelkanova, Mưa Harrison