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DADDY (Composer currently unknown) Billy Bennett How nice to see the picture of a father and his son My father is my mother's wife and I'm his hot cross bun Our home sweet home's his castle, my daddy is the king 'Cos mother's crowned him once or twice and that is why I sing "Father, dear Father, come home with me now For the clock in the steeple strikes none." We've got dover soles, lemon soles, camisoles too And polonys with pullovers on Custard and jelly to fill up your evening And onions that put up a barrage We'd a toad in the hole but the toad has crawled out And we can't get him back in the garage The twins have been crying for daddy all night And mother's too tender to slap 'em So she gave them a bath and one slipped through the plug And he's stuck in a drainpipe at Clapham The other poor darling keeps screaming for milk But the dairy's sent news that upset us Their cows have been feeding on lumps of ice-cream And they've frozen their poor carburettors There's only one button left now on your pants And these things are not done in this nice land For everyone knows if that last button goes There'll be a depression in Iceland So picture this scene and take warning Oh Father stand up perpendicular And mother beware 'cos the sailors don't care And soldiers are not too particular Who made London today what Johannesburg is? Why the fathers of England we know And daddy I know you're my father 'Cos dear mother told me it's so And you can't part a boy from his father You can't part a boy from his dad You can't part a Scotchman from money No matter how many he's had You can't part the skin of a sausage Or a dad from his fond son and heir And you can't part the hair on a bald-headed man For they'll be no parting there. (Contributed by Bill Huntley - July 2007)


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