DAN THE DAIRYMAN
(Harry Gifford / Fred E Cliffe / George Formby)

as recorded by George Formby
August 20th 1939


I'm in the dairy business#
And well known everywhere,
I might go round and round my rounds,
But I'm always on the square!

Milk I serve to Mrs Fox,
She's deaf, so after fourteen knocks,
I pour it through her letterbox,
I'm Dan the dairyman!

Mrs Jones is very fat,
She slipped on a butter pat,
And underneath her, laid out flat,
Was Dan the dairyman!

Early every mornin',
There's no more sleep I know.
It's moo-moo-moo
And a cock-a-doodle-do
When the rooster starts to crow.

Of late I've not seen Mrs Moore;
Today a nurse came to the door,
Instead of two pints she had four
>From Dan the dairyman!

Although the game is tricky,
I've never yet been caught.
I've learned two gallons make three gills
And six pints make a quart!

I serve a pub just round about,
The barmaid's keen on me no doubt,
She fills my empties up with stout,
For Dan the dairyman!

When my eggs they start to crack,
It smells just like a gas attack,
And one by one they throw 'em back
At Dan the dairyman!

Early every morning,
There's no more sleep I know.
It's moo-moo-moo
And a cock-a-doodle-do
When the rooster starts to crow.

"Oh doctor", shouted one sweet pet,
"Can you cure me?", I said, "You bet!"
It's the finest chance that's happened yet
To Dan the dairyman!

When Mr Johnson homeward goes,
He gives two knocks, quite hefty blows.
When it's three knocks, Mrs Johnson knows
It's Dan the dairyman!

"Who's been here?", yelled Mrs Best,
The cook said, "Nobody?"  I confessed.
Cried the parrot, "Blimey, can't you guess?
It's Dan the dairyman!"

Early every morning,
There's no more sleep I know.
It's moo-moo-moo
And a cock-a-doodle-do
When the rooster starts to crow.

They've just broadcast an S.O.S.
Ten pretty girls are in distress!
They want to know the new address
Of Dan the dairyman!



(Transcribed by Peter Akers - March 2017)