DEAR FRED How You Likin' Folsom
Thought You'd Want To Know What's Goin' On Outside
DEAR FRED I'm Doin' What You Asked Me
Takin' Care Of Your Affairs, Your Money, And Your Wife
Well, Ole Buddy, The Last Thing You Said To Me
'fore You Left For Prison Was Take Good Care Of Ruthie,
and Son I've Been Givin' It My All. So's Ruthie.
Listen, She's Really Tried Her Best To Be Faithful To You, Fred.
'Course You Know How She Is After A Couple Drinks.
Hey Fred, We Saw You On The Late News The Other Night
Son, That Was A Hell Of A Riot You Guys Had Up There
Boy, Me And Ruthie Laid Up In That Big Old King Size
Bed You'd Bought, Laughed and Cheered For Y'All's Side,
Booed Them Prison Guards Every Time They'd Lob That Tear Gas
In There At You. Anyway, I'm Takin' Care Of Her,
Just Like You Asked Me To Fred.
Fact Is I Finally Just Sold My House And Moved In Here
With Her So I'd Be Right On Top Of Everything, Hoss.
Hey Fred, That Public Defender You Had Has Called
Four or Five Times Goin' On About New Evidence and
The Parole and I don't Know What All, Anyway I Knew
You Wouldn't Want all That Crap Brought Up Again So I Finally
Just Told Him To Buzz Off And Leave Well Enough Alone.
Listen Fred, Ruthie Really Misses You. Hardly A Month Goes By
That She Don't Mention Your Name.
She Used To Get So Lonesome She'd Call Me Up And Have Me Over
There Almost Every Night, But It Sure Got Her Mind Off Of You,
Heh Heh, Like To Kill Me A Couple Times
But I Can Say In All Honesty Her Mind Was Not On You.
Hey Fred, Ever Blow In Ruthie's Ear?
Listen Ole Buddy, I Really Do Feel Bad About You Gettin' Busted
Over The 10 Kilos Of My Grass I Hid In Your Basement,
But Ruthie Swore You Wouldn't Mind Me Leavin' It There
While I Was Out Of Town.
'Course When I Got Back My Grass Was Gone
And So Were You. I'll Tell You Fred,
Me And Ruthie Have Been A Lot Of Nights Trying To Figure Out
Who Could Have Turned You In. 'Course, Look On The Bright Side,
Fred. The Last Two Years In A Row You Got To See Johnny Cash
In Person. See There's Always Some Bitter With The Sweet...
Or Some Sweet With The Bitter.
(Contributed by Garr Norick - April 2008)