DICK WHITTINGTON (YOU 'AVE MADE A NICE OLD MESS OF IT)
(Maurice Scott (m) Joe Burley (l) Gus Elen (l) 1910)

Gus Elen
recorded 1911


Don't think that I'm Dick Whittington what slept on 'ighgate 'ill,
And afterwards woke up to be Lord Mayor.
Though you'll think by this 'ere photo taken of me when a lad,
I'd 'ave been a chap who'd get on anywhere!
I thought the same as Whittington; I'd 'ear the bells o' Bow,
And to be a Lord Mayor too the chance I'd seize,
So up Highgate 'ill I crept,
But since upon the brow I slept,
I've 'ad nothing but rheumatics round me knees!

A pretty chap you was to try to do the same as Dick!
You fat'ead you, to think that you could do the Lord Mayor trick!
Oh, you 'ave made a nice old mess of it,
You said, now didn't you, you'd be Lord Mayor!
At a public house at Highgate called The Twinkling Star,
Some fella closed your eye up for Lord Mayorin' in the bar!
No bells rung out for you, although they nearly wrung your neck,
Then Colney 'atch, they gave you the address of it!
Then, you silly looking josser, they threw you in 'Ighgate pond,
Oh you 'ave made a nice old mess of it!

I thought I'd be a bookie once, so down the Lane I bought
A bus-conductor's satchel, second 'and.
I've worked as a bricklayer too, so thought it wasn't strange,
>From carrying the hods I'd go and lay 'em for a change!
This top 'at I was married in I perched upon me head,
And like a 'uman draughtboard I walked out,
With a loud check suit, you see,
That I 'ad bought for six and three
Off a showman who 'ad popped it up the spout.

You silly looking josser you, to try to make a book,
I feel I'd like to pull your nose, each time at you I look!
Oh, you 'ave made a nice old mess of it,
I'd be ashamed of me if I was you!
To think that you went and paid out all your bloomin' tin,
'Cause you'd 'eard from the stable "Monkey Nuts" was going to win.
The bookies tarred and feathered ya, you walked 'ome in the rain,
Dressed like Maud Allen, only there was less of it.
Then a savage dog flew at ya and you daresen't show the mark,
Oh you 'ave made a nice old mess of it!




(Transcribed by Peter Akers - February 2017)