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DON'T LET'S BE BEASTLY TO THE GERMANS Noel Coward Noel Coward written and recorded 1943 Don't let's be beastly to the Germans When our victory is ultimately won, It was just those nasty Nazis Who persuaded them to fight, And their Beethoven and Bach Are really far worse than their bite! Let's be meek to them And turn the other cheek to them, And try to bring out their latent sense of fun. Let's give them full air parity And treat the rats to charity But don't let's be beastly to the Hun! We must be kind, And with an open mind We must endevour to find a way To let the German know that, when the war is over They are not the ones who'll have to pay. We must be sweet, And tactful and discreet, And when they've suffered defeat We mustn't let them feel upset, Or ever get the feeling That we're cross with them or hate them, Our future policy must be to reinstate them. Don't let's be beastly to the Germans When we've definitely got them on the run. Let us treat them very kindly As we would a valued friend; We might send them some bishops As a form of lease and lend. Let's be sweet to them, And day by day repeat to them That sterilisation simply isn't done. Let's help the dirty swine again To occupy the Rhine again, But don't let's be beastly to the Hun! We must be just And win their love and trust, And in addition we must be wise, And ask the conquered lands To join our hands to aid them, That would be a wonderful surprise! For many years They've been in floods of tears, Because the poor little dears Have been so wronged, And only longed To cheat the world, Deplete the world, And beat the world to blazes; This is the moment when we ought to sing their praises! Don't let's be beastly to the Germans, For you can't deprive a gangster of his gun! Though they've been a little naughty To the Czechs and Poles and Dutch, I don't suppose those countries Really minded very much. Let's be free with them And share the BBC with them, We mustn't prevent them basking in the sun. Let's soften their defeat again And build their blasted fleet again, But don't let's be beastly to the Hun! Don't let's be beastly to the Germans When the age of peace and plenty has begun. We must send them steel and oil and coal And everything they need, For their peaceable intentions Can be always guaranteed! Let's employ with them A sort of "stength through joy" with them, They're better than us at honest manly fun. Let's let them feel they're swell again And bomb us all to hell again, But don't let's be beastly to the Hun! NOTE: this song was banned by the BBC at the time for being too pro-German! (Contributed by Peter Akers - March 2008)


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