DON'T TELEPHONE, DON'T TELEGRAPH, TELL A WOMAN
(Al Stewart / Tex Williams)
Tex Williams & His Western Caravan - 1947
Roy Hogsed & The Rainbow Riders - 1947
Johnny Tyler & The Riders Of The Rio Grande - 1947
Homer & Jethro - 1948
As recorded by ROY HOGSED:
If you want to spread the news, there are lots of ways to use
But the ordinary ways are much too slow
There is just one thing to do, here is my advice to you
Confidentially it's the fastest way I know
Don't telephone, don't telegraph
Tell a woman and the news will get around
Don't telephone, don't telegraph
Tell a woman and she'll tell the whole darn town
Almost ev'ry Saturday I would pass the time away
Gambling with the boys, was always kind of nice
I was lucky as can be till a woman squealed on me
And she told 'em I was usin' loaded dice
Saw the cutest blonde one day, dancin' in the cabaret
And she swung her hips around from A to Zee
I said it don't mean a swing if you haven't got that swing
So she turned around and took a swing at me
Don't telephone, don't telegraph
Tell a woman and the news will get around
Don't telephone, don't telegraph
Tell a woman and she'll tell the whole darn town
All my life I didn't think it was wrong to take a drink
Till one day my gal found out and I was sunk
Seems a woman spread the word and the next thing that I heard
They were sayin' I was in the gutter drunk
Had a fight and shot a man when the Martin feud began
And I thought that I had covered up my trail
Now I sing a different song 'cause a woman done me wrong
And her gossip put me in the county jail
Oh, my gal and I would spark ev'ry evenin' after dark
And one night I said please be my honey bee
Later on I changed my mind, but it didn't work out fine
'Cause she slapped a breach of promise suit on me
Don't telephone, don't telegraph
Tell a woman and the news will get around
Don't telephone, don't telegraph
Tell a woman and she'll tell the whole darn town
ALTERNATE CHORUSES:
Don't telephone, don't telegraph
Tell a woman and the news will get around
Don't telephone, don't telegraph
Tell a woman and she'll really go to town
Don't telephone, don't telegraph
Tell a woman if you want to advertize
Don't telephone, don't telegraph
Tell a woman and she'll build it up with lies
Don't telephone, don't telegraph
Tell a woman and she'll put you in your place
Don't telephone, don't telegraph
Tell a woman and she'll slap you in the face
Don't telephone, don't telegraph
Tell a woman and she'll tear your heart in two
Don't telephone, don't telegraph
Tell a woman, but you're crazy if you do
(Contributed by Ferda Dolunay - April 2005)
(Updated by Mel Priddle - March 2016)
