DON'T TELL I, TELL 'EE
(Trevor Crozier / Kevin Sheldon)


Adge Cutler & The Wurzels - 1968

Also recorded by: Trevor Crozier; Brian Link.



I've never been to school
I've never been to college
I'd sooner be dead than stuff me 'ead
With a load of useless knowledge

I never couldn't see
No point in 'istory
'Cause I weren't there and I don't care
So don't tell I, tell 'ee!

Oh, don't tell I tell 'ee
That's my philosophy
When folks do cuss and start to fuss
And dont tell I, tell 'ee

Young Sarah Jones one day
Got in the family way
Her father come with a gurt big gun
Says 'ee "You'll have to pay"

He chased I up a tree
I 'ollered "Leave I be!
I 'appens to know, t'were old Paul Snow
So don't I, tell 'ee!"

Oh, dont tell I tell 'ee
That's my philosophy
When folk do cuss and start to fuss
And don't tell I, tell 'ee

I cycled out one night
A PC come in sight 
He made it hot because I got
No brake, no bell, no light

"I'll sling the book at 'ee"
The copper says with glee
I said, "Sling all you like, 'tis your dad's bike
So don't tell I tell 'ee!"

Oh, dont tell I tell 'ee
That's my philosophy
When folks do cuss and start to fuss
So dont tell I, tell 'ee

I got a lift to town
From good old Farmer Brown
In a ten-ton truck wi' a gurt  load o' muck
And when 'ee set us down

A drink we did agree
It would be good for we
The barmaid Rose, she 'eld 'er nose
I said, "Don't smell I, smell 'ee!"

Oh, Dont tell I tell 'ee
Thats my philosophy
When folks do cuss and start to fuss
So dont tell I, tell 'ee

Now, the vicar come along
'Eee says, "You know 'tis wrong
You gets tight on a Friday night"
I answered 'ee real strong

"Now parson, you'll agree
That the Lord created me
And I'm afraid tis 'ow I'm made
So dont tell I, tell 'ee!"



(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - August 2018)