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EARL'S A WINGER (Richard Digance - A parody of Leiber & Stoller's "Pearl's A Singer") Richard Digance - 1977 Earl's a winger He plays for his local team ev'ry Sunday Wife permittin' Earl's a winger And some say that he eats centre-halfs for dinner But he's only nine-stone-six And his legs are like matchsticks And he eats omelettes.........omelettes? Earl's a winger And they say that he plays like a beginner He's pathetic Earl's a winger And he thought that he once scored a winner He thought he'd won his team the Cup But they were only warmin' up It never counted He wanted to be Billy Bremner So he got his marchin' orders last September He got a red card when he threw a toilet roll At the crowd behind the goal Earl's a winger And he once had a trial for Tranmere Rovers He never made it.......oh shite! Earl's a winger And they say that he plays like a beginner His job is kickin' people's shins Takin' corners and throw-ins But he's useless (Earl's a winger) (He gets up and he plays ev'ry Sunday) Wife permittin' like (Earl's a winger) (And they say that he plays like a beginner) (His job is kicking people's shins) (Taking corners and throw-ins) But he's useless (Oh, oh dear) (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - March 2012)


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