EMBASSY LAMENT
Tim Rice, Benny Andersson, Bjorn Ulvaeus


Oh my dear how boring, he's defecting
Just like all the others he's expecting
Us to be impressed with what he's done here, but he
Hasn't stopped to think about
The paperwork his gesture causes
We've an embassy to run here

If these people can't strike blows for freedom
With a valid visa we don't need 'em
If we seem offhand then please remember this is
Nothing very special
He's the fourth we've had since last November
Who do these foreign chappies think they are?

And when he's safely in the West he'll be the hero to discuss
The media will lionise him fame and fortune plus
No-one will recall it's thanks to us

Have you an appointment with the consul
If you don't we know what his response'll
Be, he will not see you, with respect it buggers
Up his very taxing schedule
Pushing peace and understanding
Let us hope this won't affect it

Far too many jokers cross the border
Not a single document in order
Russia must be empty, though we're all for basic
Human rights it makes you wonder
What they built the Berlin Wall for
Who do these foreign chappies think they are?

And when you've filled in all the forms
And been passed clear of all disease
Debriefed debugged dedrugged disarmed
And disinfected please
Don't forget the guys who cut your keys