FLYING SAUCER Pts 1 & 2
(Bill Buchanan / Dickie Goodman)

Buchanan & Goodman - 1956

(Novelty record featuring clips from the major hits of the day,
with Bill Buchanan as the Station Announcer and Dickie Goodman
as the Downtown Reporter)


PART 1

Instrumental intro (Joe Turner "Shake, Rattle & Roll")

ANNOUNCER: We interrupt this record to bring you a special bulletin.
The reports of a flying saucer hovering over the city have been
confirmed. The flying saucers are real.

Too real when I feel
What my heart canīt conceal (The Platters "The Great Pretender")

ANNOUNCER: That was The Clatters recording, Too Real. We switch you
now to our on the spot reporter downtown.

Cīmon baby letīs go downtown (Frankie Lymon & The Teenagers "I Want You To Be My Girl") (*)

ANNOUNCER: Take it away John Cameron Cameron.

REPORTER: This is John Cameron Cameron downtown. Pardon me madam,
would you tell our audience what would you do if the saucer were to
land?

Jump back in the alley (Little Richard "Long Tall Sally)

REPORTER: Thank you and now the thin gentleman there.

What Iīm gonna do, is hard to tell (Fats Domino "Poor Me")

REPORTER: And the gentleman with the guitar, what would you do, sir.

Just take a walk down lonely street (Elvis Presley "Heartbreak Hotel")

REPORTER: Thank you. We return you now....SCR-EE-EE-CH

BRAK: This is Brak your outer space disc jockey with a request for
Earth.

Earth angel, earth angel (The Penguins "Earth Angel")

ANNOUNCER: That was The Pelicans outer space recording, Earth. Iīve
just been handed a bulletin. The flying saucer has just landed. We
switch you again downtown.

REPORTER: Here we are again. We have with us Professor Sir Cedric
Pentingmode of the British Institute and the professor is approaching
the saucer to see if thereīs possibly any sign of life aboard.

SIR CEDRIC: Well Iīm sure something...are you there?

I hear you knocking
But you canīt come in (Smiley Lewis "I Hear You Knockin'")

ANNOUNCER: That was Laughing Lewisī record, Knocking.

REPORTER: This is John Cameron Cameron on the spot. And now I believe
weīre about to hear the words of the first spaceman ever to land on
Earth.

A wop bob alumop balop bam boom (Little Richard "Tutti Frutti")

ANNOUNCER: And now here are the ball scores. Four to three, six to
two, and eight to one. The impact of seeing the first spaceman has
this reporter reeling.

Here I go reeling, uh-oh, uh-oh (The Platters "The Magic Touch")

ANNOUNCER: That was The Clatters again with their big one, Uh-Oh.

REPORTER: This is John Cameron Cameron again downtown. The spaceman
has returned to his ship and is taking off. We return you now to our
studios. The flying saucer has gone. There is no threat of an
invasion. However, the flying saucers are still around.

Still around (The Platters "The Great Pretender")


*****


PART 2

Ba-ba, ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

ANNOUNCER: We are not going to interrupt this record.

Ba-ba, ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

ANNOUNCER: Yes, we are. The flying saucer has landed again.
Washington: The Secretary of Defense has just said--

Ainīt that a shame (Fats Domino "Ain't That A Shame")

ANNOUNCER: That was Skinny Dynamoīs record, Thatīs A Shame.

REPORTER: This is John Cameron Cameron, part two. Gathered around me
are several of the spacemen. Tell us, have you come to conquer the
world?

ALIEN: #[*%/ *=#.?) =j*#*% =#.?)=j*#*% =#.?)=*#*#'~*

REPORTER: And now would you repeat that in English?

Donīt want the world to have and hold (Don Cherry "Band Of Gold")

HECKLER: Hey, why donīt you go back where ya came from?

Donīt be angry and drive me away (Nappy Brown "Don't Be Angry")

REPORTER: We return you now to our studios.

ANNOUNCER: Here is a news item from Washington. The president has
just issued a statement to the spacemen and we quote --

You can do anything
But lay off of my blue suede shoes (Carl Perkins "Blue Suede Shoes")

ANNOUNCER: That was Pa Gherkinīs record, Shoes. We switch you again
downtown.

REPORTER: This is John Cameron Cameron downtown. Professor Sir Cedric
of the British Institute, tell us how were the saucers able to land?

SIR CEDRIC: Well, you see...

The motor cooled down
The heat went down (Chuck Berry "Maybelline")

ANNOUNCER: That was Huckle Berryīs recording, The Moter Cooled Down.

REPORTER: This is John Cameron Cameron again. I believe the spaceman
has a final parting word.

See you later alligator (Bill Haley "See You Later Alligator")

REPORTER: We return you now to our studios.

ANNOUNCER: The spacemen have gone again but look to the skies. The
saucers will always be there.

Always be there (The Platters "My Prayer)

BRAK: Good bye Earth people.



(*) (Corrected by David McAlary - November 2004)