FOOD BLUES
(Shel Silverstein)


Bobby Bare - 1980





I was waitin' in Rosie's Restaurant
When the waiter came up and said what do you want
I looked at the menu and it looked so nice
Till he said lemme give you some advice

He said spaghetti and taters got too much starch
Pork chops and sausage are bad for your heart
There's hormones in chicken and beef and veal
Bowl of ravioli is a dead man's meal

Bread's got preservatives, nitrites in ham
Artificial colouring in jellies and jam
Stay away from doughnuts and run away from pie
Pepperoni pizza is a sure way to die

Sugar rots your teeth and makes you put on weight
But artificial sweetener's got cyclamates
Eggs got cholesterol, there's fat in cheese
Coffee ruins your kidneys and so does tea

Fish got mercury, red meat is poison
Salt's gonna send your blood pressure risin'
Hot dogs and baloney got deadly red dyes
Vegetables and fruits are sprayed with pesticides

(Instrumental Break)

So I said what can I eat that's gonna make me last
He said a small drink of water in a sterilized glass
And then he stopped and he thought for a minute
And said never mind the water there's carcinogenics in it

So I got up from the table and walked out in the street
Realizin' there was nothin' I could eat
I ain't eaten for a month and I'm feelin' fine
'Cause he did not mention beer, whiskey, women and sweet red wine






(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - May 2012)