GEE MA, I WANNA GO HOME
(Author Unknown)


They say that in the army
The coffee's mighty fine
Well, it's good for cuts and bruises,
But it tastes like turpentine!
Oh, I don't want no more of army life
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

The chicken in the army,
They say is mighty fine,
A drum rolled off the table
And squashed a pal of mine!
Oh, I don't want no more of army life!
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

The clothing that they give us
They say is mighty fine
Well, me and half my regiment
Can all fit into mine
Oh, I don't want no more of army life
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

The salary that they pay us,
They say is mighty fine
They give you thirty dollars
And take back forty-nine
Oh, I don't want no more of army life
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
Gee Ma I gotta go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!


*****


ALTERNATE VERSION: As used in the TV show "Mash"


Father Mulcahy:
A chaplain in the Army
Has a collar on his neck,
If you don't listen to him
You'll all wind up in heck.

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

Colonel Potter:
Friendships in the Army
They say are mighty rare,
So I spend all my free time
Carousing with my mare.

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

Radar O'Reilly:
The corporals in the Army
You say we're really green,
But if it weren't for us guys
You'd be in the latrine.

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

Margaret Houlihan:
Oh some nurses in the Army
They haven't tied the knot,
But this one's gonna try it
With Donald Penobscott.

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

Hawkeye & B.J.:
Oh the surgeons in the Army
They say we're mighty bright,
We work on soldiers through the day
And nurses through the night.

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

The Nurses:
The surgeons in the Army
They're bright, they are profound,
But we'll take chopper pilots
They'll get you off the ground.

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

Corporal Klinger:
Oh some guys like the Army
I think that it's a mess,
If it's so damn terrific
How come I wear a dress?

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!

Frank Burns:
Oh Hawkeye and ol' B.J.
They think they're pretty smart
I'd like to take a scalpel
And stab them in the heart.

All:
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life,
Gee Ma, I wanna go,
But they won't let me go,
Gee Ma, I wanna go home!