GERTCHA!

(Chas Hodges / Dave Peacock) 


Chas & Dave - 1979   



Now there's a word that I don't understand
I hear it every day from my old man
It may be Cockney rhymin' slang
It ain't in no school book
He says it every time that he gets mad
A regular caution is my old dad
Rub the old man up the wrong way
Bet your life you'll hear him say
Gertch'you, cowson, gertcha Gertcha!
When the kids are swingin' on the gate
Gertcha!
When the paperboy's half an hour late
Gertcha!
When the pigeons are pecking at his seed
Gertcha!
When a barker starts diggin' up his beans
Gertch'you, cowson, gertch'you
Bar stool preachin'
That's the old man's game Now the old man was a Desert Rat
Khaki shorts and a khaki hat
How me mother could have fancied that
I just don't know
But when the enemy came in sight
They gave up without a fight
'Cause they rubbed him up the wrong way
This is what they heard him say
Gertch'you, cowson, gertcha Gertcha!
When me rock and roll records wake him up
Gertcha!
When the Poles knocked England out the cup
Gertcha!
When the kids are banging on his door
Gertcha!
When the barman won't serve him any more
Gertch'you, cowson, gertch'you
Bar stool preachin'
He's always been the same Oye!
(Instrumental Break) Gertch'you, cowson, gertcha Gertcha!
When the dog's left a message on the step
Gertcha!
Lester Piggott, when he lost it by a neck
Gertcha!
When me brother kicks the toes out of his shoes
Gertcha!
When the houseflies are flyin' round his food
Gertch'you, cowson, gertch'you
Bar stool preachin'
He's always been the same Gertcha!
Gertcha!
Gertcha!
Gertcha! Gertcha!
When me mother says he can't go down the pub
Gertcha!
Sister's boyfriend put his sister up the club
Gertcha!
Them tomcats, when they're kicking up a din
Gertcha!
Tottenham Hotspur couldn't get one in
Gertcha!
When me mother locks him out the flat
Gertcha!
When it's rainin' and he can't find his hat
Gertcha!
In the mornin's when his motorcar won't go
Gertcha!
Next door neighbour, when he won't give him a tow
Gertcha!
Gertcha!
Gertcha!
Gertcha!






(Transcribed by Bill Huntley and Mel Priddle - August 2013)