GOODBAT NIGHTMAN
(Roger McGough / Mike McGear)

The Scaffold - 1966



God bless all policemen and fighters of crime
May thieves go to jail for a very long time
They've had a hard day helping clean up the town
Now they hang from the mantle piece, both upside down
A glass of warm blood and then straight up the stairs
Batman and Robin are saying their prayers

BATMAN & ROBIN:
God bless Superman and Superwoman!
Aquaman and Aquawoman!
Ironman and Ironwoman!
Spiderman and Spiderwoman!
Plasticman and Plasticwoman!
Crazyman an-

ROBIN: B-b-batman

BATMAN: Yes Robin

ROBIN: W-w-was there ever a Batwoman?

BATMAN: There was once, Boy Wonder, a long time back

ROBIN: Where is she now?

BATMAN: I'm afraid she's no longer with us

ROBIN: Oh, you mean...?

BATMAN: Yes, she's in the great belfry up there in the sky

ROBIN: Holy Saint Batwoman, what happened?

BATMAN: She rather foolishly got in the way of the batmobile

ROBIN: Suicide?

BATMAN: Batricide!

ROBIN: Gosh, why didn't I think of that

They've locked all the doors and they've put out the bat
(Meouw!)
Put on the batjamas
(We like doing that!)
Filled the batwater-bottles, made the batbeds
With two springy batrasses for sleepy batheads
They're closing red eyes and they're counting black sheep
Batman and Robin are falling asleep

(Door opens)

ROBIN: W-w-w-where are you going Batman?

BATMAN: The batroom!

ROBIN: Holyluya!

(Door closes)