GRANNY'S OLD ARMCHAIR
Frank B Carr (m)anon (l) 1880

as rec by Frank Crumit w Leonard Joy & his Orch  
Dec 1929 New York


My grandmother, she,
At the age of eighty three,
One day took sick and died;
And after she was dead,
The will of course was read,
By a lawyer as we all stood side by side.

To my brother, it was found,
She had left one hundred pound,
The same unto my sister I declare!
But when it came to me,The lawyer said, "I see
She has left you her old armchair!".

How they tittered, how they chaffed,
How my brothers and my sisters laughed,
When they heard the lawyer declare,
"Granny has left you her old armchair!".

I thought it hardly fair,
And still I did not care,
And in the evening took the chair away.
The neighbours, they chaffed,
And my brother at me laughed,
And said, "It will be useful some day!".

"When you settle down in life,
Find a girl to be your wife,
You'll find it very handy, I declare!
On cold and frosty nights
When the fire burns bright,
You can sit in your old armchair!".

How they tittered, how they chaffed,
How my brothers and my sisters laughed,
When they heard the lawyer declare,
"Granny has left you her old armchair!".

What my brother said was true,
For in a year or two
I had settled down and married life;
I first the girl did court
And then a ring I bought,
Took her to the church to be my wife!

Oh, the old girl and me
Were as happy as could be,
For when my work was over, I declare,
I never abroad would roam,
But each night skated home
And was seated in my old armchair!

How they tittered, how they chaffed,
How my brothers and my sisters laughed,
When they heard the lawyer declare,
"Granny has left you her old armchair!".

And here's how granny fooled us!

One night the chair fell down;
When I picked it up I found
The seat had fallen out upon the floor.
And there, to my surprise,
I saw before my eyes
A lot of notes, two thousand pounds or more!

When my brother heard of this,
The fellow I confess
Went nearly wild with rage and tore his hair!
I only laughed at him,
And said, "unto you, jim,
Don't you wish you had the old armchair?".

How they tittered, how they chaffed,
How my brothers and my sisters laughed,
When they heard the lawyer declare,
"Granny has left you her old armchair!".



(Transcribed by Peter Akers - February 2012)