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GREAT DRINKING BOUT (Merle Kilgore) Merle Kilgore - 1972 Years ago in Chandlerville lived a man named Chugalug And the folks around the County said he was bitten by the drinkin' bug You could find him guzzlin' night and day in J.D. Murphy's Bar And the folks in the County agreed he was a drinkin' star "I can drink more beer than anybody," said he, "That's my claim to fame" So, to prove the fact, they put a plaque in Murphy's windowpane It read, 'The man that can outdrink me ain't never been found And there's a-ten thousand dollars awaitin' for the dude who drinks me down' While drivin' through fair Chandlerville, a man named Shorty McBain Saw the sign in Murphy's window of the great drinking claim He walked into those swingin' doors and up to the drinkin' star And you ain't never heard the like of laughter in J.D. Murphy's Bar "Why, you're just a little fellah," said Chugalug, "There ain't no way you can Outdrink me, four hundred pounds of guzzlin', chuglin' man" "Just the same," said Shorty, "I'm here to call your bluff" "Alright, little man," said Chugalug, "Murphy, set 'em up" Well, they started drinkin' right off, and the crowd began to grow Shorty matchin' Chugalug beer for beer, and puttin' on quite a show The hours turned into days, and the days turned into weeks Till all of Chandlerville was there, and half of Slipp'ry Creek The contest was in its nineteenth day and Shorty was goin' strong Then a haze came over Chugalug's eyes, you could tell that somethin' was wrong He dropped the beer from his hand and said, "Boys, I can't drink no more" And four hundred pounds of Chugalug hit Murphy's barroom floor A hush fell over the crowd, you couldn't even hear a sigh The doctor nodded sadly and closed Chugalug's eyes "Well, he's dead," said Murphy, "There's nothin' more we can do How can you drink so much beer, a little fellah like you?" And Shorty replied, "In World War Two in Germany, I hid in a cellar full of beer A bomb went off and the barrels broke and I was in the brew up to my ears I couldn't swim so very well, the enemy was all around So I drank the damn cellar dry, it was either that or drown" As long as there's a Chandlerville there can be no doubts They'll tell again and again the story of the Great Drinkin' Bout Well, they covered Chugalug with a barroom rug, and it came as quite a blow As the crowd could not believe their ears when Shorty ordered a six-pack to go (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - April 2013)


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