HAUNTED HOUSE, THE
(Max Kester / Ray Noble)


Ray Noble & His New Mayfair Dance Orch. (vocal: The Three Ginx) - 1931





(Knocking on door)

Ist MAN: 
I say, I say, Sebatian, are you in bed? Come out here.
2nd MAN:
I can't. I'm in my nightwear.
1st MAN: 
Oh, very well then. I only want to tell you that your bedroom's supposed 
to be haunted, but I don't suppose that'll worry you. Breakfast at nine if 
you're alive to eat anything. Goodnight!
2nd MAN:
Oh, I say, look here, I can't stay in here. I mean my Mother told me to keep 
away from spirits. I say, hello, very good fellow, hello. Oh!

(Who's that?)

(Who's that?)

(Look behind you)

(Look behind you)

2nd MAN: Oh no, no, no, no, oh no, oh no, oh no!

(Scream)

When doors all squeak and the windows creak
And the ceilings leak and the roof's antique
If you hear a shriek and your legs feel weak
It's the Haunted House

There's a dismal moan like a weird trombone
And the old hambne is suddenly thrown
You are all alone with the great unknown
In the Haunted House

There's only one good spirit
It's the spirit in the bottle
With shaking hands you pull the cork 
And pour some down your throttle

There's a clank of chains and the smell of drains
And a gory stain where the Duke was slain
And you've got chilblains and varicose veins
In the Haunted House

When the old oak beam from the court room seem 
To pirouette stream with a sinister gleam 
And you wake with a scream from a horrible dream
Of the Haunted House

When a cavalier with a dreadful leer 
Tries to disappear from the cheffonier
Everything we feared, to the chandelier
It's the Haunted House

The air is full of clammy claws that catch you by the collar
So gargle night and morning just in case you have to holler

The lights and sprites are awful sights 
In flesh pink tights, by the dead of night 
Comes a woman in white, so you're quite alright
In the Haunted House 

When the old church clock strikes twelve there's a knock
With a sudden shock you remember the lock
On the door there's a knock, oh, why did you mock
At the Haunted House

It's as black as pitch and your eyeballs twitch
And the darkest snitch is a dirty witch
And the lighting switch is out of reach
In the Haunted House

When the slavey spilled the gravy, why is she so pally
Something pulled her in the pantry when she fetched the salad

I'm filled with dread, yes I'm nearly dead
I saw a head underneath my bed
Come out if you can, I could do with a man
In the Haunted House

(Scream)

Thank you!






(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - November 2014)