HIROHITO'S LETTER TO HITLER
(Carson J. Robison)


Carson Robison - 1945




Dear Hitler, I'm writing this letter
Hoping you'll get it somewhere
I used to address you in Berlin
But now there's no post office there

I'm anxious to know how you're doin'
And will it be much longer yet
Till you send the help that you promised
'Cause I'm gonna need all I can get

Your great intuition should tell you
We'd better do something durn quick
I think I hear ancestors laughing
Oh Adolf, I really am sick

You told me the yankees were lazy
And all too complacent to fight
You told me to strike at Pearl Harbor
And we'd rule the World overnight

But Yankees are very queer people
And we don't know just what to do
My soldiers call out, "Yanks Surrender!"
And they yell right back, "Nertz to you!"

There's one other problem that irks me
It's known as the B-29
And what do they mean by the eight-ball
They say they have got us behind

Please pardon me asking these questions
But I can't help wondering now
If you stayed too long in that beer hall
And miscalculated somehow

You promised we'd meet in the White House
And oh, how I dreamed of that hour
But the Yanks had their own secret weapon
They called it the Ike Eishenhower

If I had just thirty years longer
I think I could whip Chiang Kai-Shek
But this man MacArthur annoys me
Can't you take him off of my neck

P.S., as you gaze in your crystal
To learn what the future will be
When Joe Stalin's face comes before you
Find out how he feels about me



(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - March 2009)