HITLER'S LAST LETTER TO HIROHITO
(Carson J. Robison)


Carson Robison - 1945




I just got your note, Hirohito
It reached me where I'm holeing in
I don't have a Berlin post office
In fact, there just ain't no Berlin

My keen intution assures me
The great super race will survive
But please note this letter was written
On April Fool's Day, forty-five

So, if I should suffer reverses
And frankly, I look for the worst
I'll hike to my fort in the mountains
If Himmler don't bump me off first

There once was a time when I figured
That I might hide out in Japan
But recently I have concluded
I'm much better off where I am

You're just like that guy, Mussolini
You told me you really were tough
And then you start squawkin' your head off
As soon as the goin' gets rough

Why don't you review your great navy
'Twill boost your morale, I am sure
Just borrow a suit from a diver
And you should have an int'resting tour

I notice you mentioned the White House
And that durn near tore me in half
Too bad I can't find Hermann Goering
'Cause he really needs a good laugh

For many long years you've been itching
To bring the Yanks down to their knees
You say you hear ancestors laughing
But I think you hear the Chinese

That white horse that you ride so proudly
You'd better teach him how to race
You'll make a swell Lady Godiva
'Cause you're gonna lose more than your face

P.S., I've cut off my moustache
So Stalin won't know who is who
I wish I could have my face lifted
But I fear they might lift my neck, too



(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - March 2009)