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HOLE IN THE GROUND (Ted Dicks / Myles Rudge) Bernard Cribbins - 1962 There I was, a-diggin' this 'ole 'Ole in the ground, so big and sort o' round it was And there was I, diggin' it deep It was flat at the bottom and the sides were steep When along comes this bloke in a bowler Which he lifted and scratched his 'ead Woooh, he looked down the 'ole Poor demented soul and he said "Do you mind if I make a suggestion? Don't dig there, dig it elsewhere Your digging it round and it ought to be square The shape of it's wrong, it's much too long And you can't put hole where a hole don't belong" I ask, what a liberty, eh? Nearly bashed him right in the bowler Well, there was I, a-stood in me 'ole Shovellin' earth for all that I was worth, I was And there was 'im, standin' up there So grand and official with his nose in the air So I gave him a look sort of sideways And I leaned on me shovel and sighed Woooh, I lit me a fag And havin' took a drag I replied I just couldn't bear to dig it elsewhere I'm diggin' it round 'cos I don't want it square And if you disagree, it doesn't bother me That's the place where the 'oles gonna be Well there we were, discussing this 'ole 'Ole in the groud, so big and sort o' round It's not there now, the ground's all flat And beneath it is the bloke in the bowler hat And that's that! (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - June 2008)


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