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HOW TO GET DEPRESSED (Bob Lind) Bob Lind - 2004 Beginning with the basics, you sit right down And give a lot of thought to yourself If any higher value should cross your mind Consider the state of your health Think of what that strange little cough could mean And what you should have said to that jerk Start with the assumption that something's wrong And anything you think of will work Make a list of who's slighted you And all the things it's too late to do Think of all your mistakes And how little difference you make You're halfway there Don't be like the amateurs who waste their time Counting up the bad breaks they've known Use your time efficiently and call to mind All of the good breaks you've blown Think of all those chances for happiness Chances that only knock once Watch the clock and remind yourself How the days keep turning to months Judge people that you never met Watch the news every chance you get Spend your mornings inside Keep defending your pride You're almost there Think about those sneaky middle-eastern creeps Think about your backstabbing friends Sit around remembering the good old days Life was so much simpler then If right now someone's heart is reaching out to you Shut it hard away from your mind You know you're prob'ly too cool for her He's gonna suck up your time Think of Hemingway, Monroe and van Gogh Remind yourself of how the great ones go Geniuses don't ask for help You're kind of brilliant yourself There you are


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