HUGO (THE HUMAN CANNONBALL)

Ray Stevens - 1986


Well, they came to town
With their elephants and clowns
On a hit sticky August day
And every telephone pole
Had a poster that told
Of the thrills that were coming our way

There were trapeze fliers
And men that ate fire
And things we never dreamed existed
And the radio and TV
Told us we'd be
Fools if we dared to miss it

Now all three rings
Held wondrous things
Marvels of every invention
But the big long shrouded
Shape in the corner
Increasingly drew our attention

There were bareback riders
Lions and tigers
And clowns in their itty bitty car
But every woman and man
And child in the stand
Had come to see the star

Then a hush fell on the crowd
As the men pulled the shroud
From the muzzle that was 30 feet long
And to screams and cheers
He finally appeared
And flamboyantly bowed to the throng

He wore red sequined tights
That sparkled in the lights
And boots that came to his knees
And a chromium football helmet
And a cape
That flapped in the breeze

And the dazzled crowd
Shouted out loud
You could hear them one and all
We want Hugo!
Hugo! Hugo!
The Human Cannonball

The aim was carefully calculated
The trajectory was precise
The charge was carefully measured
And poured into the loading device
The fuse was trimmed, the lights were dimmed
Hugo slid down the barrel and then
All was ready and Hugo's daddy
Counted down from

Ten!
And the drums rolled

Nine
And our blood ran cold

Eight!
The ambulance stood by

Seven!
Several woman cried

Six!
The spotlight hit the net

Five!
No one would ever forget

Four!
Eternity passed

Three!
Every heart beat fast

Two!
And Hugo's daddy said, "Are you ready Hugo?"

One!
And from the bowels of the gun, "I'm a-ready, Papa!"

Boom!

Well, fire and smoke belched
Out of the cannon
And the earth trembled for a while
And the big gun roared
And Hugo soared
Through the air like a projectile

Two hundred and fifty
Feet he flew
Like an Air Force fighter jet
But at the apex
Of his trajectory
He knew he's gonna miss the net

Oh! Arms flailing
He kept on sailing
A terrified screaming creature
And the crowd scattered
As Hugo splattered
All over the upper bleacher

In the aftermath
Of this tragic event
Disbelief filled every face
There was Hugo
And there was Hugo
There was Hugo all over the place!

Well, the dust has
Finally settled and
The smoke has finally cleared
Hugo's name
And Hugo's fame
Will always be revered

But no one
Ever took his place
No matter who they were
Because they never found
Another man
Of Hugo's caliber

The Circus' main attraction
The greatest star of all
Was Hugo!
Hugo!
The Human Cannonball!