I CAN GET IT FOR YOU WHOLESALE
(Bacon)


Max Bacon - 1938





There's a certain fellow what everybody knows
He is such a funny fellow
Ven he vent to school, he must have specialised
To become a clever seller

If you ever happen to be near
Why it's ten-to-one he'll visper in your ear

Oh, if you want a suit that's nifty
Don't pay sixty bob or fifty
I can get it for you wholesale

If your thinking about marriage
Don't you buy a baby's carriage
I can get it for you wholesale

I can get you anything you want if you'll agree
And I guarantee that you'll almost buy it free

Say, if you need an operation
Doctor Brad is my relation
I can get it for you wholesale

Yes, anything you want fron corn flakes to corsets
I can get it for you at tradesmen's prices
Why, there's a friend of mine who goes into holy padlock
Not so long ago lately
So, when I hear he's getting marriage
I gets for him a specially cheap ring and a second-hand licence
And I fixes up the furniture for the house, all brand new antiques
Then I don't see him for maybe a year
And he comes back and he says, "Max" he says
"My Wife is suspecting a blessed event"
Well, I'll be, blessed I says, good luck to you
Now, you leave it to me, I can get for you everything wholesale
So, I fixes up for him the eternity home and I gets a nurse cut price
And I do everything for him so cheap
He was obsolutely flagger...flabber...fla.....he couldn't say a word
So what happens, his wife goes and has triplets
You see, three for the price of one

Oh, if you want to gain some knowledge
Mention me to any college
I can get it for you wholesale
Ir-riddee-diddee-diddee-rye

When they want your income taxes
Tell them you're a friend of Maxies
I can get it for you wholesale

You go to a cabaret to see a petticoat
For a kiss you give a girl a twenty shilling note

Say, if you want to get some kisses
Come with me and meet the Missus
I can get it for you wholesale
Hoo-Hah (Hey!)






(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - April 2015)