I GOT A WIFE
(Mascari / Wenzlaff)
Mark IV


(Hey, I got a wife at home
I got a wife at home
I got a wife she's the apple of my life
But I wish she would leave me alone)

When I hear
Hang your clothes up
Wipe your feet off
Goodness sakes don't slam the door
Fix the socks and dry the dishes
Can't you see what's in the drawer
Hang the picture
Set the table
Don't drop ashes on the floor
Heat the bottle
Change the baby
She don't love me anymore

(He don't love her anymore
There he goes right out the door
He'll be back 'bout half past ten
And then she'll start right in again)

Tack the shade up
Wash the windows
Wipe the handprints off the door
Change the light bulbs 
Scrub the bathtub
Pick the toys up from the floor
Tape the lamp cord
Make some coffee
Burn the garbage
Oil the door
Get the kids 
And call my mother
She don't love me anymore

(INSTRUMENTAL INTERLUDE)

(I got a wife at home
I got a wife at home
I got a wife she's the apple of my life
But I wish she would leave me alone)

When I hear
(FAST HIGH-PITCHED VOICE CHATTER)
OK OK I'll do it
(CHATTER CONTINUES)
Yeah OK
(CHATTER CONTINUES)
Honey, honey

Please, honey
(CHATTER CONTINUES)
Yeah I'll do it
(CHATTER CONTINUES)
QUIET!!

(He don't love her anymore
There he goes right out the door
He'll be back 'bout half past ten
And then she'll start right in again)
(CHATTER BEGINS AGAIN)
(SHORT GUITAR LICK)
(DOOR SLAMS)

(Sheeee!!)