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I MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF OVER JOHN FOSTER DULLES Lyrics and music by Ken Welch Carol Burnett I made a fool of myself over John Foster Dulles. Oh, I made a chump of myself over John Foster Dulles. The first time I saw him t'was at the UN. Oh, I never have been one to swoon over men, But I swooned, and the drums started poundin', and then I made a fool of myself over John Foster Dulles. I knew it was futile to dream, For we never could marry - Still, my heart ripped apart at the seams For our state secretary. The next time I saw him, he was flying to Spain; He waved to someone as he boarded the plane. "Was it me?" cried my heart, And then I went insane. I made a fool of myself over John Foster Dulles. "Get ahold of yourself", I told myself; To my heart, I said "Oh, behave. Who are you to John Foster Dulles?" I asked my heart, And it replied: "His slave." Then in somebody's newspaper column (I think Robert Ruark), I read that John Foster was due at the airport in Newark. To Jersey by taxi I made a mad race - I pushed through the crowd till we stood face to face. I grabbed for his sleeve, but I got his briefcase. At least it was something belonging to John Foster Dulles. It's so nice of you all to come visit me here in prison. With good behaviour I should be out, oh, in about 7 years. But I'm not un-American, and I'm not a spy, But how can I convince the FBI That I'm simply on fire with desire for John Foster Dulles? (Contributed by Lou Rugani - The Music of the Stars (WLIP) - November 2012)


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