I MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF OVER JOHN FOSTER DULLES
Lyrics and music by Ken Welch

Carol Burnett


I made a fool of myself over John Foster Dulles.
Oh, I made a chump of myself over John Foster Dulles.
The first time I saw him t'was at the UN.
Oh, I never have been one to swoon over men,
But I swooned, and the drums started poundin', and then
I made a fool of myself over John Foster Dulles.

I knew it was futile to dream,
For we never could marry -
Still, my heart ripped apart at the seams
For our state secretary.

The next time I saw him, he was flying to Spain;
He waved to someone as he boarded the plane.
"Was it me?" cried my heart,
And then I went insane.
I made a fool of myself over John Foster Dulles.

"Get ahold of yourself", I told myself;
To my heart, I said "Oh, behave.
Who are you to John Foster Dulles?" I asked my heart,
And it replied: "His slave."

Then in somebody's newspaper column (I think Robert Ruark),
I read that John Foster was due at the airport in Newark.
To Jersey by taxi I made a mad race -
I pushed through the crowd till we stood face to face.
I grabbed for his sleeve, but I got his briefcase.
At least it was something belonging to John Foster Dulles.

It's so nice of you all to come visit me here in prison.
With good behaviour I should be out, oh, in about 7 years.
But I'm not un-American, and I'm not a spy,
But how can I convince the FBI
That I'm simply on fire with desire for John Foster Dulles?



(Contributed by Lou Rugani - The Music of the Stars (WLIP) - November 2012)