I'M GETTING READY FOR MY MOTHER-IN-LAW
(Wincott)

as trecorded by Harry Champion
1911


My wife's mother sent a letter today,
Saying she was coming for a week to stay.
When I heard the news, well strike me fat,
This is what I done to my best hat!
Then a thought came suddenly to me,
Talk about a spree, I was full o' glee!
My wife shouted, "What's the matter now?
Want to have a row, or a fight I vow?"
I said, "No, you're wrong my dear!"
It's because it's like this here"

I'm getting ready for me mother-in-law,
Getting ready for the fray!
When she puts her face inside the place,
I'll make the old girl feel all gay!
There's a little back room on the third top floor,
Where the beetles up the wall they climb.
Oh mother mother mother mother mother mother,
You'll have a lively time!

Round to the bakers' I went off in a tick,
Got a quartern loaf but as hard as a brick!
Went into a shop where fish they sold,
Bought a pair o' kippers nigh a fortnight old!
Fourpence I gave for some mouldy cheese,
'Nough to make you sneeze, yet alone the breeze!
Then I bought a pound o' margerine,
Talk about a scene, it was turning green!
When the shop man looked at me,
I said, "That's alright cockie!"

I'm getting ready for me mother-in-law,
Getting ready for the fray!
When she puts her face inside the place,
I'll make the old girl feel all gay!
There's a little back room on the third top floor,
Where the beetles up the wall they climb.
Oh mother mother mother mother mother mother,
You'll have a lively time!

Knowing she is fond of a little drop o' gin,
I've got a gallon of turpentine in!
I'll make her take it in about three ticks,
Whether she screams or whether she kicks!
She'll have ginger in a cup o' tea,
Take a tip from me, happy I shall be!
Meat I've got to make an Irish stew,
In a day or two, it will "pinky-poo!"
If she thinks it's just the thing,
Oh God save our gracious king!

I'm getting ready for me mother-in-law,
Getting ready for the fray!
When she puts her face inside the place,
I'll make the old girl feel all gay!
There's a little back room on the third top floor,
Where the beetles up the wall they climb.
Oh mother mother mother mother mother mother,
You'll have a lively time!

I'm getting ready for me mother-in-law,
Getting ready for the fray!
When she puts her face inside the place,
I'll make the old girl feel all gay!
Little back room on the third top floor,
Where the beetles up the wall they climb.
Oh mother mother mother mother mother mother,
You'll have a lively time!




(Transcribed by Peter Akers - September 2017)