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I'M JUST A SQUARE IN THE SOCIAL CIRCLE (Jay Livingston (m) / Ray Evans (l) ) As sung by Betty Hutton in the 1945 film < The Stork Club > . When I was young I found it grim To gurgle in the social swim The do's and don'ts and la-di-da's To me were just a lot of blah. I used my silver spoon at birth For throwing meatballs at my nurse I always chose to thumb my nose At smarty clothes and party prose. I've ditched the rich and sable set To join the kitchen table set. I used the wrong fork at the Stork in New York. My manners ain't fit for a goop I'm just a square in the social circle Who put that fly in my soup. I'd rather go out with a lout to about Than sleep in a symphony hall I'm just a square in the social circle Who knocked my gum off that wall. When the utterly utter flows like butter I want to start pitching a curve With a silly old blighter on a first nighter I feel like a pickled hors d'oeuvre No verve. I never felt gay in a fancy beret Or wear a babushka or bursk I'm just a square in the social circle Finger bowls hurt me the worst They just don't quench my thirst. (short bridge) Mrs. Vanderhorse will greet me with a fourteen karat shout "My dear, you've simply got to come to my daughter's coming out" Her daughter is a Frankenstein, a Dracula in mink When she comes out each stag will shout "Gadzooks, I need a drink". I'd dined and clubbed I've elbow rubbed from Yonkers to Cheyenne Boo to you bud Take your blue blood And stick it in your fountain pen. (short bridge) I wanna brush all the plush in the gush I'd rather get left than be right I'm just a square in the social circle Anyone here wanna fight. And none of me fits with the wits at the Ritz I'd rather relax on a stool I'm just a square in the social circle Anyone wanna shoot pool. When a cookie with cabbage gets too savage I'll wrastle him three out of four I would rather a sailor hop in my trailer And show me his nautical lore Why sure. The ladies in frills only fill me with chills They're soft as a ball of chenille I'm just a square in the social circle I've got a muscle of steel Anyone here want to feel. I'm as square as a pear in a boutonniere Fancy silks won't stay on I'm designed for rayon But I just don't seem to care I'm a square. NOTES: This song writing duo of Livingston/Evans wrote a number of recognizable works, winning the Academy Award 3 times for Best Original Song. Among their creations, Buttons and Bows, Whatever Will Be, Will Be, Tammy's in Love and Mona Lisa. They also wrote themes for TV series. Among them were Bonanza and Never Let Me Go. < The Stork Club > was classified as a B Musical. Director: Hal Walker Leads: Betty Hutton / Barry Fitzgerald / Don DeFore / Robert Benchley This song, < I'M JUST A SQUARE IN THE SOCIAL CIRCLE > was also released as an 'A' side 78 RPM disc. The 'B' side was < DOCTOR, LAWYER, INDIAN CHIEF > . (Transcribed by David Story - February 2014)


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