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IT HAD BETTER BE A WONDERFUL LIE (Westlake) Barbara Windsor & Harry Fowler - 1962 BARBARA: I feel a right nana standin' around 'ere waitin' for this geezer I wish 'e'd 'urry up A right darlin' like me and 'e ain't turned up yet Wait till I get my 'ands on 'im I won't arf give 'im what for Stone me, 'ere 'e comes at last I bet 'e's got a right load of old tot thought up (HARRY: Allo, Darlin') Where have you been my darlin' (Well, to tell you the truth) What kept you oh so late (Well, it was like this, ya see) I've been waitin' round for hours (Yeah, well I got as far as the bus stop) For you to keep our date ('Ang on a minute, luv, I'm tryin' to tell ya, ain't I) There's some lipstick on your collar (Well, that's easy to explain) Quite a pretty shade of pink (Well, you remember last night) Turn around and look me straight in the eyes And it better be a bloomin' good lie (Well, as I was sayin', there was this bird, see, waitin' for 'er geezer, and 'e....) Did your baby sister kiss ya (You kiddin', what would I be doin' kissin' me.....) Just before you came our way (Come off it, don't be funny) Did you think I'd never miss ya (If only you'd listen for a minute, luv) Now what you gotta say (I'm still tryin', you an'arf got an....) Just because you came on tired (Who ever 'erd of a tired bus) Did you have to walk for miles (In this weather, you're jokin') Turn around and look me straight in the eyes And it better be a bloomin' good lie (Look, Darlin', I....) This is not the first time, you've turned up late before (You don't 'ave to rub it in, do ya) But the lipstick on your collar, cor, that's the last straw (You're embarrisin' me, Darlin') Did she make you late, my Darlin' (Did who make me late) What does she mean to you (How do I know, I don't even know who you're talkin' about) I can't go on, my darlin' (Thank gawd, well belt up then) Thinkin' maybe we are through (Stone me, she dun'arf go on) (Tell me you'll forget 'er, Darlin') (Okay, okay, so I've forgotten 'er, who) Tell me so I'll know it's true (It's true) Turn around and look me straight in the eyes And it better be the truth or so 'elp me I shall forget me ladylike thing (You got lovely eyes, Darlin') And up and dot you one Who do you think you are (Do me a favour will ya, I can't get a word in edgeways) My mother was right (Niggle, niggle, rhubarb, rhunarb, funny, funny) She always said you was a good-for-nothin' layabout (What's it gonna be like when we're cut and carried) I must've been daft to say I'd go out with you (Do you think I wanted to be late) You're nothin' but a good-for-nothin' ?????, you are (Shut your trap!) Well really! (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - November 2018)


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