IT'S A TYPICAL DAY
From Lil' Abner : The Musical
(Music : Gene de Paul / Lyrics : Johnny Mercer)


Soloists: It's a typical day
In Dogpatch, USA.
Where typical folks
Do things in a typical way.
First we rubs the sleep from our eyes, 
Get's our grub, and shoos 'way the flies.
We spend what's negotiable,
Then we gets sociable,
Sittin' around swappin' lies!
And then we drops by to collect unemployment pay!

All: Which leads us to say it's a typical day
In Dogpatch, USA!

Lonesome Polecat: Lonsome Polecat, Indian Brave!
Hairless Joe: Hairless Joe, me needum a shave!
Both: We livin' an' sleepin' n' doin' housekeepin' in big subterranian cave!
While Kickapoo Joy Juice we makeum is heap "grade A!"

Skraggs: Take us boys what's known as the Skraggs,
Mammy said she had us as gags!
Can't git that depressin' an' homely unlessin' ya comes from a long line o' hags!
There ain't any widders or orphans we won't betray!

Moonbeam: Howdy boys, I'm Moonbeam McSwine, 
Sleepin' out with the pigs is my line.
The fellas admire me, 
But they don't squire me
Unless the weather is fine!
But I does allright when the wind blows the other way!

All: Which leads us to say it's a typical day, in Dogpatch, USA...It's a typical day
(echo: it's a typical day) in Dogpatch, USA! Where typical folks: echo: typical folks)
Does things in a typical way!

Marryin' Sam: You ain't no friend t' Marryin' Sam, 
If your name is Sir or Madam.
But if you're a bachelor, 
Pack up yer satchel or I'll have you pushin' a pram!
For fifteen cents extra I'll furnish the bride's bouquet!

All: Which leads us to say it's a typical day, in Dogpatch, US...

Earthquake: Step aside for Earthquake McGoon!
Bustin' out all over like June!
I stands on the corner,
Enormous n' ornery, 
Makin' the fairer sex swoon!
Spoken: My secret desire is to tangle with Daisy Mae!

Daisy Mae:Like he said, my name's Daisy Mae!
Cuz my ma, she planned it that way.
My one aim in life is to be a good wife, 
And marry Li'l Abner someday!

All: She's practicin' up chasin' gophers an' antelopes!
She ain't never caught Li'l Abner, but she's got hopes!

Pappy: Mammy here's sassiety's queen, 
And she heads the local machine.
Mammy: I'se sweet but I'se mystical, 
And pugilistical, 
Matter of fact the champeen!
Both: Li'l Abner we has both learned,
Still don't know how money gets earned.
His heart is the tenderest,
But neuter-genderest,
Far as young gals is concerned!
Abner: I gets purty tired of runnin' from Daisy Mae!

All: Which leads us to say it's a typical day, in Dogpatch, USA!!!!