IT'S IN THE BOOK
(Johnny Standley / Art Thorsen)

Johnny Standley with Horace Heidt & His Musical Knights - 1952


I have a message for you, a very sad message! My subject for this
evening will be Little Bo Peep.

It says here, "Little Bo Peep", who was a little girl, "has lost her
sheep, and doesn't know where to find them". Now that's reasonable,
isn't it? It's, it's reasonable to assume if Little Bo Peep had lost
her sheep, it's only natural that she wouldn't know where to find
them. That, that basically is reasonable, but, uh, "leave them
alone". Now that overwhelms me … completely overwhelms me. The man
said she lost her sheep, turns right around and boldly states, "She
doesn't know where to find them". And then has the stupid audacity to
say, "Leave them alone!" Now! Now, now think for a moment! Think! If
the sheep were lost, and you couldn't find them, you'd have to leave
them alone, wouldn't you? So, "Leave them alone". "Leave them alone".
It's in the book!

"Leave them alone and they", they being the sheep, "they will come
home". Ah yes, they'll come home. Oh, there'll be a brighter day
tomorrow, they will come home! It's in the book.

"They will come home a-waggin' their tails". Pray tell me what else
could they wag? "They will come home a-waggin' their tails behind
them, behind them!" Did we think they'd wag them in front? Of course,
they might have come home in reverse. They could have done that, I
really don't know. But, none the less, it's in the book.

So now if you will, kindly pick up your books, and turn to page 222.
We'll ask you all to sing. You'll find your books on the backs of
your seats. Are we ready?

Everyone, 222. Let's really enjoy ourselves, let's live it up. All
together.

Do you remember grandma's lye soap?
Good for everything in the home
And the secret was in the scrubbing
It wouldn't suds and couldn't foam

Then let us sing right out for grandma's, for grandma's lye soap
Used for, for everything, everything on the place
For pots and kettles, the dirty dishes
And for your hands and for your face

So we'll now sing the second verse. Let's get it with great
exuberance, let's live it up. It's not raining inside tonight.
Everyone, let's have a happy time. Are we ready? All together, the
second verse.

Little Herman and brother Thurman
Had an aversion to washing their ears
Grandma scrubbed them with the lye soap
And they haven't heard a word in years

Then let us sing right out for grandma's, for grandma's lye soap
Sing all out, all over the place
For pots and kettles, the dirty dishes
And for your hands and for your face

Well, let's sing what's left of the last verse. Let's have a happy
time, everyone. The last verse, all together. Everyone!

Mrs. O'Malley, out in the valley
Suffered from Ulcers, I understand
She swallowed a cake of grandma's lye soap
Has the cleanest ulcers in the land

Then let us sing right out for grandma's, for grandma's lye soap
Sing right out, all over the place
The pots and, the pots and pans, oh dirty dishes
And for your hands and for your face