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Song Lyrics From Around The World

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I'VE NEVER SEEN A STRAIGHT BANANA (Ted Waite) Dick Henderson - 1926 Percival Mackey's Band (Instr.) - 1927 Fred Douglas - 1927 Albert Whelan - 1927 Billy Jones & Ernest Hare ("The Happiness Boys") - 1927 Waring's Pennsylvanians - 1927 Harry Reser's Jazz Pilots (vocal: Tom Stacks) - 1927 'Whispering' Jack Smith - 1927 Jane Gray - 1927 Regent Dance Orch. - 1927 The Columbians (vocal: Frank Harris & Ed Smalle) - 1927 The Harmonians (vocal: Irving Kaufman) - 1927 Raymond Dance Band - 1927 Jimmy Edwards - 1960 Tiny Tim - 1976 As recorded by FRED DOUGLAS: I've seen lots of funny things in my time But there's one thing that I've not seen up til now For years and years and years I've kept on searching But I always seemed to have bad luck somehow To find the thing I'm searching for, around the world I've been And now I'm going to tell you what it is I haven't seen Well, I've never, never, never, never, I've never seen a straight banana I've searched every town, I've searched every town I've seen bananas standing up, I've seen 'em lying down I've tried everywhere to find one, Africa, Jamaica and Havana But I've never, never, never, never, I've never seen a straight banana I've seen cabbages, I have, with nobs on I've seen lovely red tomatoes turning blue I may say I've seen scarlet runners runnin' And I've seen 'em when they couldn't walk, too I've seen some new potatoes with their eyes all filled with tears Because an onion friend of theirs got sentenced to three years Well, I've never, never, never, never, I've never seen a straight banana I've searched every town, I've searched every town I've seen bananas standing up, I've seen 'em lying down I've tried everywhere to find one, Africa, Jamaica and Havana But I've never, never, never, never, I've never seen a straight banana But I've never, never, never, never, I've never seen a straight banana! ******************** As recorded by 'WHISPERING' JACK SMITH: I've seen lots of funny things in my time But there's one thing I've been trying hard to get For years and years and years I've kept on searching But I haven't had the luck to see one yet Although you've never seen one, you all know the thing I mean And now I'm going to tell you what it is I haven't seen I've never, never, never, never, I've never seen a straight banana I've searched quite a bit, yet I must admit They're even curved when they are served in my banana split I have seen them by the carloads on the Delaware & Lacawana But I've never, never, never, never, I've never seen a straight banana And I recall when I was in Alaska I have seen the sun shine twelve o'clock at night I've seen the waterfall down at Niagara And I confess it is the most impressive sight I'd love to see a certain thing, but if it's not to be I'd like to see somebody else who saw what I can't see I've never, never, never, never, I've never seen a straight banana I've searched quite a bit, yet I must admit They're even curved when they are served in my banana split I have seen them by the carloads on the Delaware & Lacawana But I've never, never, never, never, I've never seen a straight banana I've never, never, never, never, I've never seen a straight banana And though they're things I hate, millions I have ate But, doggone me, I've yet to see bananas that are straight I have traveled far to find one, From the Argentine to Tijuana But I've never, never, never, never, I've never seen a straight banana Huh, I've never, never, never, never, I've never seen a straight banana Once I chanced to see a murder mystery The jury found the prisoner guilty in the first degree And all at once we heard the prisoner holler out "This is the truth, your honour, I've never, never never, never, I've never seen a straight banana" ******************** Extra verse as recorded by JIMMY EDWARDS: I've seen 'em fat, I've seen 'em thin I've even seen 'em in a tin I've seen 'em peeled, I've seen 'em squeezed I've seen 'em looking most displeased But I've never seen a straight banana (Transcribed by Mel Priddle - January 2018)

    





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