I WANT TO TELL YOU ALL A STORY

Harper Valley P.T.A.
Tom T. Hall


I want to tell you all a story 'bout
A Harper Valley widowed wife
Who had a teenage daughter
Who attended Harper Valley Junior High
Well her daughter came home one afternoon
And didn't even stop to play
She said, "Mom, I got a note here
From the Harper Valley P.T.A."

The note said, "Mrs. Johnson,
You're wearing your dresses way too high
It's reported you've been drinking
And a-running 'round with men and going wild
And we don't believe you ought to
Be bringing up your little girl this way"
It was signed by the secretary,
Harper Valley P.T.A.

Well, it happened that the P.T.A.
Was gonna meet that very afternoon
They were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson
Wore her mini-skirt into the room
And as she walked up to the blackboard,
I still recall the words she had to say
She said, "I'd like to address this meeting
Of the Harper Valley P.T.A."

Well, there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there
And seven times he's asked me for a date
Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use
A lot of ice whenever he's away
And Mr. Baker, can you tell us why
Your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn't widow Jones be told to keep
Her window shades all pulled completely down?

Well, Mr. Harper couldn't be here 'cause
He stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath,
You'll find she's had a little nip of gin
Then you have the nerve to tell me
You think that as a mother I'm not fit
Well, this is just a little Peyton Place
And you're all Harper Valley hypocrites

No I wouldn't put you on because
It really did, it happened just this way
The day my Mama socked it to
The Harper Valley P.T.A.
The day my Mama socked it to
The Harper Valley P.T.A.