LANDLORD AND TENANT
(Sydney Carter)


Sheila Hancock - 1963



I kept my money in an old tin chest
Till I saw a poster and it said, "Invest!"
If you want a bank that'll never go bust
Put your money in the Blue Chip Trust
We welcome the small investor
Every man a capitalist

So I wrote to the Blue Chip right away
And back came a letter the following day
Four percent in every quid if you invest it
So I did
And I sat back waiting for the dividends

They came alright, those chips were blue
But along came a letter from the landlord, too
Your rent is going up, it said
To two pounds a week, well, I saw red
I wrote them a letter

To Tentacle Limited, that was the name
I wrote damn quick and said it was a shame
But Tentacle said, "Well, don't blame us
We only act for the Blue Chip Trust
They own the property, we only collect the rent"

To Blue Chip, EC1 I went
To ask them why they were putting up the rent
A young man said, "Well, it distressed us
But we must think of our investors"
"I do", I said

To pay myself my four percent
It seems I 've got to raise my rent
I can't afford the rent, and so 
I told myself I've got to go
A small percentage of myself has never had it so good



(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - March 2017)