LOBACHEVSKY
Tom Lehrer
Tom Lehrer (vocal & piano)
recorded Jan 22nd 1953
Boston
Who made me the genius I am today,
The mathematician that others all quote?
Who's the professor thay made me that way,
The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat?
One man deserves the credit, one man deserves the blame,
And Nicholai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name, hoi!
Nicholai Ivanovich Lobache-
I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky;
In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics, plagiarise!
Plagiarise!
Let no-one else's work evade your eyes,
(Remember why the good Lord made your eyes)-*
So don't shade your eyes,
But plagiarise plagiarise plagiarise!
Only be sure always to call it please, "research!".
And ever since I meet this man, my life is not the same,
And Nicholai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name, hoi!
Nicholai Ivanovich Lobache-
I am never forget the day I am given first original paper to write.
It was on an analytical algebraic topology of local euclydian metrisation
of infinitely differentiable remainian manifold bourgamoi!
This, I know from nothing, what I'm going to do!
I think of great Lobachevsky and I get idea, ha-ha!
I have a friend in Minsk
Who has a friend in Pinsk,
Who's friend in Omsk
Has friend in Tomsk
With friend in Akmolinsk.
His friend in Alexandrovsk
Has friend in Petrapavlovsk,
Who's friend somehow
Is solving now
The problem in Dnepropatrovsk!
And when his work is done,
Ha-ha, begins the fun!
From Dnepropatrovsk to Petrapavlovsk,
By way of Iliysk and Novorosysk,
To Alexandrovsk, to to Akmolinsk,
To Tomsk, to Omsk,
To Pinsk, to Minsk,
To me the news will run,
Yes, to me the news will run!
And then I write
By morning, night,
And afternoon,
And pretty soon
My name in Dnepropatrovsk is cursed,
When he finds out I publish first!
And who made me a big success and brought me wealth and fame?
Nicholai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name, hoi!
Nicholai Ivanovich Lobache-
I am never forget the day my first book is published;
Every chapter I stole from somewhere else!
Index I copy from from old Vladivostok telephone directory.
This book was sensational!
Pravda, huh, well Pravda says,
"Zhil-bil korol kogda-to, pree nyom blokha zhila" (*1) - it stinks!
But Izvestia, Izvestia said,
"Ya idoo kuda sam czar idyot peshkom" (*2) - it stinks!
Metro Goldwyn Moskva buys the movie rights for six million roubles,
Changing title to "The Eternal Triangle",
With Ingrid Bergam playing part of Hypotenuse!
And who deserves the credit, and who deserves the blame?
Nicholai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name,
Hoi!
*1 - "A king lived once upon a time, a flea lived with him" - fr Goethe's "Faust"
*2 - "I am going where even the king goes on foot" i.e. to the toilet (bathroom in USA!)
-* - some versions
(Contributed by Peter Akers - October 2012)
*******************
LOBACHEVSKY
Alternative version
Singer: Tom Lehrer
Album: Songs by Tom Lehrer
Who made me the genius I am today,
The mathematician that others all quote?
Who's the professor thay made me that way,
The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat?
One man deserves the credit, one man deserves the blame,
And Nicholai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name, hoi!
Nicholai Ivanovich Lobache-
I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky;
In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics, plagiarise!
Plagiarise!
Let no-one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes
So don't shade your eyes,
But plagiarise plagiarise plagiarise!
Only be sure always to call it please, "research!".
And ever since I meet this man, my life is not the same,
And Nicholai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name, hoi!
Nicholai Ivanovich Lobache-
I am never forget the day I am given first original paper to write.
It was on an analytical algebraic topology of local euclydian metrisation
of infinitely differentiable remainian manifold bourgamoi!
This, I know from nothing, what I'm going to do!
I think of great Lobachevsky and I get idea, ha-ha!
I have a friend in Minsk
Who has a friend in Pinsk,
Who's friend in Omsk
Has friend in Tomsk
With friend in Akmolinsk.
His friend in Alexandrovsk
Has friend in Petrapavlovsk,
Who's friend somehow
Is solving now
The problem in Dnepropatrovsk!
And when his work is done,
Ha-ha, begins the fun!
From Dnepropatrovsk to Petrapavlovsk,
By way of Iliysk and Novorosysk,
To Alexandrovsk, to to Akmolinsk,
To Tomsk, to Omsk,
To Pinsk, to Minsk,
To me the news will run,
Yes, to me the news will run!
And then I write
By morning, night,
And afternoon,
And pretty soon
My name in Dnepropatrovsk is cursed,
When he finds out I publish first!
And who made me a big success and brought me wealth and fame?
Nicholai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name, hoi!
Nicholai Ivanovich Lobache-
I am never forget the day my first book is published;
Every chapter I stole from somewhere else!
Index I copy from from old Vladivostok telephone directory.
This book, this book,- was sensational!
Pravda, huh, well Pravda says,
"Zhil-bil korol kogda-to, pree nyom blokha zhila" (*1) - it stinks!
But Izvestia, Izvestia said,
"Ya idoo kuda sam czar idyot peshkom" (*2) - it stinks!
Metro Goldwyn Moskva buys the movie rights for six million roubles,
Changing title to "The Eternal Triangle",
With Ingrid Bergam playing part of Hypotenuse!
And who deserves the credit, and who deserves the blame?
Nicholai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name,
Hoi!
