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LOOK OUT THERE'S A MONSTER COMING Vivian Stanshall Lonely, unmarried, looking for love, Life was passing me by. So I sent off my photo, hobbies and age; Magazine marriage I tried. They say for centuries lovely Japanese girls Have been trained in the art of pleasing men. Be lonely no more, open destiny's door. For one dollar they arrange a meeting. My image was wrong, I didn't like me, So I changed my personality. I bought a delux Merseybeat wig But it was a size too big. What confidence in my new built-up shoes, So smart for winter or summer. Undetectable in normal everyday use. Look out there's a monster coming! Bye-bye binoculars and macintosh, Everything is just great. I take elocution, learn to speak posh But still I can't find a mate. Be popular, learn to play the guitar, In seven days you could be strumming. Be sociable, learn kissing technique. Look out there's a monster coming! Carnaby clothes, I reshaped my nose, Plastic surgery's best. To cut down my weight off comes my left leg. I pass a swimming costume test. Are my sideboards too long, Don't my aftershave pong? I know my new nose ain't runnin'. What's wrong with my tie? Am I getting too high? Look out there's a monster coming! Disfiguring and ugly, my facial hair I had removed electrically. I rejuvenated my energy cells And regained my virility (grunt grunt). (He put my hand on my heart?), (I am changing the part?). He had a machine for a mummy. Please be gentle with me: I come to pieces literally. Look out there's a monster coming! Look out there's a monster coming! Look out there's a monster coming! (...fade)


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