LUMBERED
From the London show "Stop The World, I Want To Get Off" (1961)
(Leslie Bricusse / Anthony Newley)

Anthony Newley - 1961

Also recorded by:
Lonnie Donegan; Victor Feldman.


I've been trapped, lumbered!

I have been lumbered!
I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered,
But, I'm never gonna get lumbered again.

I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered,
And I don't L-I-K-E it one small bit.
I'm too young to be a father;
There are lots of things I'd rather be,
Like working down a coal P-I-T pit!

When I ought to be completely unencumbered,
I've been forced to buy a ring and say Amen.
I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered,
But, I'm never gonna get lumbered again.

I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered;
I'm completely C-H-O-K-E-D choked!
Bang, all my lovely visions,
I've been forced to make decisions.
Wish I had a quid for ev'ry fag I've smoked.

When I think of all the birds with whom I've slumbered;
Now I'll only ever see them now and then.
At the weekends and whenever the wife's not around!
I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered,
But, I'm never gonna get lumbered again.

If I ever get my hands upon the idiot that wrote,
"Into ev'ry life a little rain must fall,"
I shall take his book of poems
And I'll stuff 'em up his ...throat,
'Cause it seems to me as though I get it all!

I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered;
And the idea doesn't please me very much.
I was not prepared for marriage,
I would catch a boat from Harwich,
But I don't speak any D-U-C-H Dutch.

Though I know it's true a bachelor's days are numbered,
I think I should have the choice of saying when,
I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered,
But, I'm never gonna get lumbered again.

I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered.
It's enough to drive a fellow M-A-D!
I am scarcely past my childhood,
I still play the games a child would,
I'm still playing mums and dads, as you can see.

When I think of all the chicks with whom I've rumba'd,
For the wedding march, I'm lumbered with a hen! (Quack, quack!)
I've been quite unduly, well and truly lumbered,
But, I'm never gonna get,
Never gonna get, never, never,
Never gonna get, never gonna get, never never,
Never gonna get lumbered again!


*****


LUMBERED
From the London show "Stop The World, I Want To Get Off" (1961)
(Leslie Bricusse / Anthony Newley)

Lonnie Donegan

Also recorded by:
Victor Feldman; Anthony Newley.


There are lots of words that mean
You've been landed in the…..…cart,
But I've found a new one better than the rest
It's a little word called lumbered
And I speaks it from the `eart
When it comes to getting' lumbered, I'm the best

I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered
It's enough to drive a fella round the bend
Once I found a four leafed clover
And a lorry ran me over
So you see I still got lumbered in me end
Like the time I crossed a gypsy's palm with silver
And she said "There's a stranger in your life"
I got l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered
`Cos the stranger caught me with his wife

I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered
Once I won two hundred thousand on the pools
So I handed in me ticket,
Told the foreman where to stick it
And I told him that includes me bag of tools
Then I bought meself an `aase in Monte Carlo
(Ahem, house)
I was puttin' on me suit to catch the boat
When I found that I'd been well and truly lumbered
`Cos the coupon was still in me coat.

If I ever get me hands upon the idiot who wrote
"Into every life a little rain must fall"
I shall take his book of poems and I'll stuff `em up his throat
`Cos it seems to me as though I get it all.

I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered, yeah!
And my luck with women's just too rough for words
On a foursome or a twosome
Guess who gets the one that's gruesome
Me address book's full of really ugly birds
But one day I met a lovely little darlin'
`Bout the only bit of luck I've ever had
I took `er `ome to meet the family and got lumbered
`Cos me darlin' ran off with me dad.

I get l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered
And the latest lumber makes me want to spit
I wrote Newley a long letter
Saying why aren't pop songs better
He put music to it and it was a hit
Ev'rywhere I go I hear his flamin' number
On the Chinese his parade it's number ten
(Yen, Ten)
It's called "l-u-m-b-e-r-e-d, lumbered"
But I'm never gonna get, never gonna get,
Never, never never gonna get, never gonna get,
Never, never, never gonna get lumbered again.


(Transcribed by Bill Huntley - May 2005)


*****