McGEE'S BACKYARD
From the Broadway Show "A Brass Monkey" (1888)
(Charles H. Hoyt / Charles Zimmermann)
Charles Reed - 1888


When I called on Miss McGee, I did it surreptitiously, 
And things were far from pleasant when I came to say goodnight.
Her father by the front door was laying for me viciously, 
While Towser in the back yard was spoiling for a fight.
I went out the back way, the dog I gave preference.
He was right on hand for me and met me with a growl.
Nicely then I spoke to him with soothing words of deference, 
But up he walked behind me and at once got foul.
I grabbed, 
He grabbed, 
Towser got the best of it. 
We both grabbed together,
The dog grabbed very hard.
I got one coattail. 
Towser got the rest of it, 
And I left my Sunday breeches in McGee's back yard.

Old McGee the trousers found, he patched a dozen holes or more 
And when he wore a long tail coat they looked all nice and right.
He thought he'd struck a good scheme for starting up a clothing store 
And layed to do a young man who called another night.
He went out the back way to give his Towser chain enough.
The moon was hid behind a cloud, the dog could scarcely see.
He didn't know his master, but he saw the trousers plain enough.
It wasn't half a jiffy until he found McGee.
Dog grabbed,
Man grabbed, 
Towser got the best of it.
They both grabbed together, 
The dog grabbed very hard.
The fence got the coattail 
Towser got the rest of it,
And you couldn't find the breeches in McGee's back yard.

Old McGee was very sore a strong explosive then he bought, 
And with an old tin kettle he prepared a deadly bomb.
The dog had made it hot for him and for the dog he'd make it hot, 
So he tied it to the dog's tail to steel him to the tomb.
Dog espied a black cat, made a savage dash at it, 
Only takes a slight blow the powder to ignite.
The kettle struck a brick wall, came an awful crash with it.
Things around that back yard were scattered out of sight.
Dog flew,
Man flew,
Bomb secured the best of it.
They both flew together, 
The dog flew very hard.
The kettle struck the hilltop, 
Dog a mile to west of it, 
And you couldn't find a vestige in McGee's back yard.