MEET THE FAMILY
From the Show: The Crooked Mile, 1959
(Greenwell / Wildeblood)
Millicent Martin & Elisabeth Welch


If a man gets the idea that you’re flippety-jibbedy
And starts gettin’ ready to take a diabolical liberty
If he gives you a line you’re not keen on swallowing
Give him an old-fashioned look
And repeat the following

(Chorus)Ta, ever so, ever so ta
That was a lovely compliment
But please remember, I’m a lady
And you’re supposed to be a gent
No, we cannot make it a date
I’m too young to stop out late
But please, tomorrow come to tea
And meet the family

Dear ol’ dad’s an all-in wrestler
Weighing-in at nineteen stones
Brother Bill’s a bonnie builder
And his hobby’s breaking bones
Sister Mona tears a phone book
Into little tiny shreds
Come along and meet ‘em
Come along and greet ‘em
They’re a family of thoroughbreds

(Chorus)

There’s a bloodhound in the kitchen
Hasn’t had a bite all day
Uncle Arthur’s back in Dartmoor
Auntie’s with the I.R.A
Grandma’s digging in the cellar
No-one knows where grandpa is
They’re a lot of smasher
Bruisers, boozers, bashers
They’re a family of savages

(Chorus)

Come along and meet ‘em
Come along and greet ‘em
Meet the family