MY BROTHER MAKES THE NOISES FOR THE TALKIES
(Charles Amberg / Fred Raymond / Rudolf Bernauer)


Albert Whelan - 1930
Jack Payne & The BBC Dance Orch. - 1930
Jack Hylton & His Orch. - 1931
The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band - 1966




As recorded by ALBERT WHELAN:


(Sound Effects) Ah, d'you hear that?
My brother, he makes the noises for the talkies
Listen (Sound Effects)

Now, this is what I hear when I'm in bed
A bang, a rattle, like thunder overhead
Then cat's miaow, and dog's bow-wow
The only sleep I'll get is when I'm dead
A shot goes crack, a gale starts blowing
A duck goes quack, a cock starts crowing
Though you might think I'm kidding you
Yet what I say is true, just listen, I'll explain to you

My brother makes the noises for the talkies
There's not a single noise that he can't do
If you've forgotten what a parrot's squawk is
Our Bill can illustrate that squawk to you
He does the noise escaping from liners leaving dock
He'll fake a razor scraping or else a cuckoo clock
My brother makes the noises for the talkies
There's not a single noise that he can't do

Now I'll show you how good my brother is
You just listen while he makes the noises
It was a beautiful day (Sound Effects)
Georgie arrived on his bicycle (Sound Effects)
So Mary ran to meet him (Sound Effects)
And then they kissed (Sound Effects)
Three weeks later they got married
Listen to the wedding bells (Sound Effects)
Two years later, glorious peace and quiet in the home (Ma-ma, Da-da)
Then Mary's mother arrived and got a warm welcome 
(Who asked you to come and stay here?)
(Don't you speak to me like that!)
(Yes, I will. Mind your own business. get out)
(Ooh, ooh, oh!) 
And so they all lived very happily ever after (Gertcha!)
Goodnight everybody

He'll imitate a setter, a pheasant or a grouse
But what's even better is his noise for Mickey Mouse
My brother makes the noises for the talkies
There's not a single noise that he can't do


********************


As recorded by JACK HYLTON & His Orch., 
 with vocals by Pat O’Malley and Leslie Sarony, 2nd June 1931:


Now, this is what I hear when I'm in bed
A bang, a rattle, like thunder overhead
Then cat's miaow, and dog's bow-wow
The only sleep I'll get is when I'm dead
A shot goes crack, a gale starts blowing
A duck goes quack, a cock starts crowing
Though you may think I'm kidding you
Yet what I say is true, just listen, I'll explain to you

My brother makes the noises for the talkies
There's not a single noise that he can't do
If you've forgotten what a parrot's squawk is
Our Bill can illustrate that squawk to you
He does the steam escaping liners leaving dock
He'll fake a razor scraping or else a cuckoo clock
My brother makes the noises for the talkies
There's not a single noise that he can't do

You'll know exactly what a popping cork is
Well, Bill can pop a pretty cork to you
He makes the noise that steers make
When cowboys make a swoop
He makes the noise that beards make
When used for straining soup

My brother's awfully clever, you know
He can do anything in the world
Except make two people sleep three in a bed, yes!



(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - April 2017)