MY GRANDFATHER'S CLOCK
(George Formby Sr)
George Formby Sr
My grandfather's clock was a Waterbury watch,
It could live ninety days without food.
With a silk 'at on its 'ead and me father's macintosh,
It was dressed up like a Picadilly dude.
It was kept in the hall
Till the cupboard got too small,
And we had no place, the food for to stock,
So the butter and the heggs
And the little mutton legs,
We kept them in me grandfather's clock!
And the works of the clock,
Through the butter meltin' in it,
Sent the fingers flyin' round
At a 'undred miles a minute!
And grandad, with a sigh,
Said, "I haven't time to die,
So I'll put it off until the clock's repaired!"
Me grandfather's clock was me mother's perambulator,
Round the park in it we used to ride.
There was me and Treacle Tummy, Liza Ann an' Justice 'Awkins,
Screamin' Jimmy and the twins all stuck inside!
So grandad, who was dead,
Changed his mind, got up instead,
And the sight that he saw gave 'im a shock,
For the man who brought the coal
Couldn't get it down the 'ole,
So 'e slung it in me grandfather's clock!
And we didn't need a shovel
As the pendulum swung 'igher,
For every time it swung,
It knocked some coal into the fire!
And at nine o'clock the crank
Used to chime a double blank,
So grandad had to knock, 'e wouldn't go!
(Transcribed by Peter Akers - August 2017)