MY HOME TOWN
Tom Lehrer


I really have a yen to go back once again, 
Back to that place where noone wears a frown
To see once more those super special folks in my home town
No feller could ignore the little next door 
she sure looked sweet in here first evening gown
Now there's a charge for what she used to give for free in my home town 

I remember Dan the druggist on the corner 
he was never mean or ornery he was swell
He killed his mother in law and ground her up real well
And sprinkled just a little bit over each banana split

The guy that taught us math and never took a bath 
acquired a certain measure of renown
And after school he sold the most amazing pictures in my home town

The fellow was no fool who taught our Sunday school 
and neither was our kindly Parson Brown
I guess I'd better leave the next line out just to be safe in my home town

I remember Sam he was the village idiot 
and though it seemed a pity it was so
He loved to burn down house just to see the glow
And nothing could be done because he was the mayor's son
That guy who took a knife and monogrammed his wife 
and dropped her in the pond and watched her down
Oh yes indeed those people there are just plain folks in my home town



(Contributed by Paul Molloy - September 2002)